 | Home > Off Topic > Joke of the day ... (beat this) |
 
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| ZeDefender Member Since: 15 Sep 2011 Location: Munich Posts: 4731   
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In the same vein:
My niece went to school in Essex and one of the few GCSEs she got was Geography. About a year ago, when we were visiting, my daughter told her she was at university in Glasgow. The first words that came out of my niece's mouth were: "Do they speak German there?" WTF  Tell someone you love them today because life is short.
But shout it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing... |
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26th Aug 2012 7:10am |
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| party monkey Member Since: 31 Dec 2010 Location: Oxon. Posts: 1311  
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F*ck knows where the author of the new LR colour chart did their research but I didn't think there were any more than three or four shades of Grey for a Defender. Jon - 110 td5 [sold]. Currently Defenderless.
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26th Aug 2012 7:47am |
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| pouf Member Since: 05 Aug 2010 Location: Athens Posts: 456  
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27th Aug 2012 7:26am |
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| rossy Member Since: 29 Nov 2010 Location: Co. Roscommon Posts: 1296  
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This guy was becoming rude and argumentative with me today over the location of the Tropic of Capricorn so I had to tell him to sort out his lattitude
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28th Aug 2012 8:07pm |
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| ZeDefender Member Since: 15 Sep 2011 Location: Munich Posts: 4731
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 Tell someone you love them today because life is short.
But shout it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing... |
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28th Aug 2012 9:09pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4646
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Cerebral.
  1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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28th Aug 2012 9:27pm |
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| haworthj Member Since: 01 Nov 2010 Location: Sussex Posts: 178 
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Two dyslexics walk down street. 1ST: "Can you smell gas?" 2ND: "Smell gas? I can't even smell my own name"
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29th Aug 2012 8:59am |
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| TR51 Member Since: 17 Apr 2012 Location: Dorset UK Posts: 333  
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Along that theme...
Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association |
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29th Aug 2012 9:10am |
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| party monkey Member Since: 31 Dec 2010 Location: Oxon. Posts: 1311
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Two atoms walking along when the first suddenly shouts, "b*llocks, I've just lost an electron"
"Are you sure?" says the second atom.... "sure???....... I'm positive" Jon - 110 td5 [sold]. Currently Defenderless. |
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29th Aug 2012 2:55pm |
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| farmer giles Member Since: 09 Feb 2011 Location: worcestershire Posts: 1299 
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what have monkeys and chainsaws got in common?
- they both f**k up trees |
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30th Aug 2012 7:22am |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4646
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A BMW pulled into a fuel station and the driver got out. He told the attendant to fill up the tank. As he was removing his wallet from his pocket two golf tees fell out and hit the ground. The attendant picked up the golf tees, looked at them then asked the BMW driver what they were for. The BMW driver said "They are for resting my balls on". Hearing this the attendant says "BMW sure think of everything". 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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31st Aug 2012 7:32pm |
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| Killer90 Site Sponsor Member Since: 09 Oct 2011 Location: Hertfordshire Posts: 6478 
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i pinched this from Dave H but made me laugh for ages
Two little known facts about me......... One - My knob is the same length as 2 Argos pens ............................................. And Two - I'm banned from Argos. CSK Automotive www.cskautomotive.co.uk Like us on Facebook - www.facebook.com/csklr Follow us on Instagram - @cskautomotive |
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3rd Sep 2012 8:33pm |
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| ZeDefender Member Since: 15 Sep 2011 Location: Munich Posts: 4731
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Three old boys are moaning about the old days:
The first says "When I was younger, I could p*ss like a racehorse" Then the second says "I used to be able to sh*t like an elephant" Finally the third one says "At 8 o'clock every morning, regular as clockwork, I p*ss like a racehorse and sh*t like an elephant" The other two look at him and say "What the hell are you complaining about?" Then he says "I don't wake up until half past 9"  Tell someone you love them today because life is short.
But shout it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing... |
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1st Oct 2012 12:17pm |
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| Landlord Member Since: 27 Oct 2009 Location: Hampshire Posts: 582 
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A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The
wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know,that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know; some woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear." 2007 TD5 90 Hard Top |
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2nd Nov 2012 9:45pm |
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