 | Home > Off Topic > Joke of the day ... (beat this) |
 
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| Mountain_man Member Since: 09 Dec 2011 Location: Right side of Offas Dyke Posts: 756  
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Whilst driving along the other day, I thought I saw Irish pop legend Van Morrison in my rearview mirror. What a fool I felt when I remembered that things appear reversed in mirrors.
It was actually a Morrison's van |
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26th Jan 2021 11:44pm |
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| Mountain_man Member Since: 09 Dec 2011 Location: Right side of Offas Dyke Posts: 756
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Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were discussing who they were going to play in the new Hollywood Blockbuster: The Great Composers.
"I wanna be Vivaldi," said Stallone. "I gotta be Mozart," retorted Willis. "What about you, Arnie?" they asked... |
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28th Jan 2021 11:06pm |
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| nitram17 Member Since: 08 Jun 2014 Location: newcastle Posts: 2261 |
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29th Jan 2021 3:58am |
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| OsloBlue Member Since: 14 Jul 2018 Location: Essex Posts: 823  
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took me a while... I'll be bach! I'm on IG: https://www.instagram.com/osloblue42/
Current: TD5 '110 "Lucinda" Thread here: https://www.defender2.net/forum/topic62562.html  |
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30th Jan 2021 10:24am |
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| DAZ110 Member Since: 06 Dec 2007 Location: East Sussex Posts: 2040 
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Yeah, got me thinking too.
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30th Jan 2021 7:04pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4704 
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Click image to enlarge 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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2nd Mar 2021 8:01pm |
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| Muddybigdog Member Since: 11 Apr 2014 Location: Suffolk Posts: 1019 
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A man sees a sign outside a house - 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden.
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there. "Do you really talk?" he asks the dog. "Yes," the Labrador replies. After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, the man asks, "So, tell me your story." The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I was sold to the SAS. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years". "But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow Airport to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals". "Then I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired." The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog. "Ten quid," the owner says. "£10!!? But your dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?" "Because he's a lying devil, he's never been out of the garden." Jumped ship to reliability - Mitsubishi L200 Puma 90 XS - Sold D3 - 2.7 S x2 (both Sold) Freelander 2 HSE - Sold Freelander 1 - Sold Disco 2 - Sold |
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6th Mar 2021 3:54pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4704
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1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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6th Mar 2021 7:11pm |
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| Muddybigdog Member Since: 11 Apr 2014 Location: Suffolk Posts: 1019
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Click image to enlarge Jumped ship to reliability - Mitsubishi L200 Puma 90 XS - Sold D3 - 2.7 S x2 (both Sold) Freelander 2 HSE - Sold Freelander 1 - Sold Disco 2 - Sold |
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21st Mar 2021 4:58pm |
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| bear100 Member Since: 22 Mar 2010 Location: South Wales Posts: 1917 
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 2016 Range Rover Autobiography 4.4 TDV8
2010 110 XS Utility 2.4TDCI 2010 Range Rover Sport TDV8 (gone) 2007 Discovery HSE TDV6 (gone) 1993 110 csw 200 tdi (gone) 1994 90 HT 300 tdi (gone) 1994 discovery 300tdi (gone) 90 hybrid 3.5 v8 (gone) Range rover bobtail 3.5 v8 (gone) |
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21st Mar 2021 7:21pm |
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| Dinnu Member Since: 24 Dec 2019 Location: Lija Posts: 3422  
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Click image to enlarge 1988 90 Hard Top, 19J Diesel Turbo, Shire Blue - Restoration ongoing 2012 90 CSW, 2.2TDCI, Santorini Black |
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22nd Mar 2021 8:49am |
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| wyvern Member Since: 13 Dec 2009 Location: Cornwall Posts: 2117 
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Doing Covid inoculations last week, had gent in for his jab with no issues, but he called me about an hour later asking about serious side effects he was having which had affected his vision that had become very blurred and he found it hard to drive home.
He asked should he go to the straight to hospital, self isolate or go and see his GP as he was very worried about it. I said not to go to the GP or hospital, and not to drive - but come staight back to the inoculation centre as soon a possible and pick up his glasses whch he had left behind ...  Poppy - TDCI (Puma) 110XS 2.2 - Camper conversion - see the build here - https://www.defender2.net/forum/topic56530.html
Elgar -TDCI(Puma) 110XS Dormobile - now sold Devon & Cornwall 4x4 Response - DC126 |
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22nd Mar 2021 11:09am |
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| gilarion Member Since: 05 Dec 2013 Location: Wales Posts: 5111 
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Click image to enlarge For those who like Welsh Mountains and narrow boats have a look at my videos and photos at.. http://www.youtube.com/user/conwy1 |
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22nd Mar 2021 4:46pm |
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| grafty99 Member Since: 15 Aug 2012 Location: North Devon Posts: 4786 
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It’s too late to make Suez Canal jokes now. That ship has sailed. 2002 90 Td5 Station Wagon
1990 Vogue SE Triumph Tiger Explorer 1200 Td5 90 Thread http://www.defender2.net/forum/topic50767.html Tdi 110 Thread https://www.defender2.net/forum/topic69562.html RRC Thread http://www.defender2.net/forum/topic54492.html Instagram http://www.instagram.com/george_grafton |
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29th Mar 2021 7:21pm |
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