 | Home > Off Topic > Joke of the day ... (beat this) |
 
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| ssg Member Since: 01 Mar 2018 Location: North East Posts: 65  
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The people in Dubai dont like The Flintstones but the people in Abu Dabi do.
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30th Mar 2021 8:35am |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4748 
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Two women were out shopping. One woman picks up a carrot and says to the other woman
"This carrot is like my husband's manhood" "Really" says the other woman "In what way?! "Guess" said the first woman. "Is it the length of it?" "No, guess again." "Is it the shape of it?" "No, guess again" "Is it the width of it?." "No, guess again." "I give up. What is the reason?." "It's the dirt on it..." 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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1st Apr 2021 4:28pm |
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| bear100 Member Since: 22 Mar 2010 Location: South Wales Posts: 1960  
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The old ones are the best! 2023 Defender L663 V8
2016 Range Rover Autobiography 4.4 TDV8 (gone) 2010 110 XS Utility 2.4TDCI 2010 Range Rover Sport TDV8 (gone) 2007 Discovery HSE TDV6 (gone) 1993 110 csw 200 tdi (gone) 1994 90 HT 300 tdi (gone) 1994 discovery 300tdi (gone) 90 hybrid 3.5 v8 (gone) Range rover bobtail 3.5 v8 (gone) |
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7th Apr 2021 6:50am |
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| Ryderoo Member Since: 28 Aug 2015 Location: South Oxfordshire Posts: 1666  
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😉
They’re all I know. I’ve delved deep for this one. I went to the barbers between lockdowns. I asked if I could have my hair cut like Lionel Richies. The barber replied “of course sir” Once finished I looked in the mirror, angry with rage I said “That does not look like Lionel Richies hair cut” The barber replied “it would do if he had it cut here! (I’m here all week) Cheers Simon I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you 1990 110 TD5 county, my first Land Rover - gone 2012 Discovery 4 XS SDV6 - gone 2014 Discovery 4 XS SDV6 - gone 2015 Evoque SD4 dynamic - Wife’s - gone 2015 Urban Truck 90 XS Santorini Black Hard Top - Reluctantly gone 2020 Discovery 5 Eiger Grey 3.0 SE - gone March 24 2021 Defender S D250 Santorini Black 110 HT - gone March 24 2023 Evoque P300e SE wife’s current vehicle |
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7th Apr 2021 11:49am |
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| blackwolf Member Since: 03 Nov 2009 Location: South West England Posts: 17622 
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This is turning into a "heritage jokes" thread! There are jokes appearing here that I haven't heard since the 'sixties!
Keep up the good work!   |
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7th Apr 2021 1:19pm |
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| Whirly90 Member Since: 01 Sep 2016 Location: Ampshire Posts: 407 
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I got a new 'Bonnie Tyler' sat nav and it's rubbish. It keeps telling me to turn around, and every now and then it falls apart.
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7th Apr 2021 2:26pm |
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| Ryderoo Member Since: 28 Aug 2015 Location: South Oxfordshire Posts: 1666
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Reminds of the time my sat nav broke and I had to stop and ask for directions.
I asked this fella what the best way to get to Marble Arch. He said “walking or driving?” I replied “driving” He answered “yes that’s the best way!” Boom boom! Cheers Simon I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you 1990 110 TD5 county, my first Land Rover - gone 2012 Discovery 4 XS SDV6 - gone 2014 Discovery 4 XS SDV6 - gone 2015 Evoque SD4 dynamic - Wife’s - gone 2015 Urban Truck 90 XS Santorini Black Hard Top - Reluctantly gone 2020 Discovery 5 Eiger Grey 3.0 SE - gone March 24 2021 Defender S D250 Santorini Black 110 HT - gone March 24 2023 Evoque P300e SE wife’s current vehicle |
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7th Apr 2021 4:49pm |
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| Dixy Member Since: 30 Nov 2020 Location: Somerset Posts: 52 
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Is that how you ended up lost in France. |
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7th Apr 2021 5:01pm |
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| athelstan Member Since: 06 Aug 2019 Location: Kent Posts: 55 
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A curse on you Jaguar.
 2015 90 XS Station Wagon Puma 2.2
2015 Morgan Plus 4 |
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21st Apr 2021 1:18pm |
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| Dinnu Member Since: 24 Dec 2019 Location: Lija Posts: 3493  
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I asked my wife "Where do you want to go for our anniversary"? "Somewhere expensive!" she replied. So I took her to a petrol station. 1988 90 Hard Top, 19J Diesel Turbo, Shire Blue - Restoration ongoing
2012 90 CSW, 2.2TDCI, Santorini Black |
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21st Apr 2021 4:22pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4748
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1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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25th Apr 2021 9:33pm |
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| excossack Member Since: 22 Feb 2012 Location: North West Posts: 5898 
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I've got my dogging gear on Ebay. So far no bids but 16 watchers.... 1999 Defender TD5 110
Regards John M0VAZ Econet Station 48 no clock |
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6th May 2021 2:49pm |
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| Procta Member Since: 03 Dec 2016 Location: Sunderland Posts: 5244
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A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: "That`s the ugliest baby I`ve ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare down and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathised and said, "Why he`s a public servant and shouldn`t say things to insult passengers." "You`re right," she said. "I think I`ll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind." "That`s a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey for you." Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it! |
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17th May 2021 4:32pm |
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| Muddybigdog Member Since: 11 Apr 2014 Location: Suffolk Posts: 1031 
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Jumped ship to reliability - Mitsubishi L200
Puma 90 XS - Sold D3 - 2.7 S x2 (both Sold) Freelander 2 HSE - Sold Freelander 1 - Sold Disco 2 - Sold |
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4th Jun 2021 12:54pm |
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