↓ Advertise on Defender2 ↓

Home > Off Topic > Joke of the day ... (beat this)
Post Reply  Down to end
Page 71 of 99 <123 ... 707172 ... 979899>
Print this entire topic · 
spudfan



Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4654
Ireland 
 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai
Post #850141 15th Aug 2020 2:19pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
spudfan



Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4654
Ireland 
Watch that first step....

Click image to enlarge 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai
Post #850144 15th Aug 2020 2:27pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
gilarion



Member Since: 05 Dec 2013
Location: Wales
Posts: 5110
Wales 2007 Defender 90 Other CSW Trident Green

 For those who like Welsh Mountains and narrow boats have a look at my videos and photos at..

http://www.youtube.com/user/conwy1
Post #850301 16th Aug 2020 11:06am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
athelstan



Member Since: 06 Aug 2019
Location: Kent
Posts: 55
United Kingdom 2015 Defender 90 Puma 2.2 CSW Montalcino Red
The Great Mask Debate

 2015 90 XS Station Wagon Puma 2.2
2015 Morgan Plus 4
Post #850616 17th Aug 2020 9:07pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
spudfan



Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4654
Ireland 
Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai
Post #850625 17th Aug 2020 9:34pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Procta



Member Since: 03 Dec 2016
Location: Sunderland
Posts: 5163
United Kingdom 
An undercover cop called at my farm in the sticks yesterday evening...
“I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs”, he said.

“By all means officer, just don’t go in that field over there”, I replied.

The cop exploded, saying “Do you know who the Censored I am?! I have the authority of the government with me!”, he shouted before pulling a badge out of his back pocket, “Do you see this Censored badge?! This badge means I can do what I want and I’ll go wherever the Censored I want, have I made myself clear?!”

I nodded politely, apologised, and went about my work. A short while later, I hear loud screams, looked up and saw the cop running for his life being chased by my angry bull. With each step, the bull was gaining ground and he seemed sure to be gored before he reached safety. The officer looked terrified and continued to run for his life.

I threw down my tools, immediately ran to the edge of the fence and shouted at the top of my lungs,

“Your badge, show him your Censored badge!” Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back

Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it!
Post #851175 20th Aug 2020 6:50pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
athelstan



Member Since: 06 Aug 2019
Location: Kent
Posts: 55
United Kingdom 2015 Defender 90 Puma 2.2 CSW Montalcino Red
Does anyone know the torque setting for a TD5 sump plug.................just asking for a friend.

Click image to enlarge 2015 90 XS Station Wagon Puma 2.2
2015 Morgan Plus 4
Post #851259 21st Aug 2020 10:09am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Laurie



Member Since: 22 Feb 2008
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 2897
England 2005 Defender 90 Td5 XS CSW Bonatti Grey
Do it up 'til it breaks, then back it off half a turn. 
Post #851319 21st Aug 2020 5:55pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Send e-mail Reply with quote
Rashers



Member Since: 21 Jun 2015
Location: Norfolk
Posts: 3497
United Kingdom 2014 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 USW Corris Grey
Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter
Post #851320 21st Aug 2020 5:56pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Arkaig



Member Since: 01 Feb 2020
Location: Highland
Posts: 41
Scotland 

Click image to enlarge
Post #852131 26th Aug 2020 12:17pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Arkaig



Member Since: 01 Feb 2020
Location: Highland
Posts: 41
Scotland 

Click image to enlarge
Post #852132 26th Aug 2020 12:17pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
spudfan



Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4654
Ireland 
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense
………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
• A dyslexic walks into a bra. 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai
Post #852906 29th Aug 2020 12:28pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
RoadForce



Member Since: 17 Jul 2014
Location: Holland
Posts: 334
Netherlands 2000 Defender 130 Td5 HCPU Coniston Green
When I visited a bar in Thailand, a lovely girl came and sat on my lap. I remember thinking "don't get an erection", but she did... Defender 130 HCPU Td5 MY2000
Post #853403 31st Aug 2020 5:55pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
RoadForce



Member Since: 17 Jul 2014
Location: Holland
Posts: 334
Netherlands 2000 Defender 130 Td5 HCPU Coniston Green
A land surveyor forgot all the measurements he had just taken. It was a textbook case of dimentia... Defender 130 HCPU Td5 MY2000
Post #854365 5th Sep 2020 8:17am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
gilarion



Member Since: 05 Dec 2013
Location: Wales
Posts: 5110
Wales 2007 Defender 90 Other CSW Trident Green

Click image to enlarge For those who like Welsh Mountains and narrow boats have a look at my videos and photos at..

http://www.youtube.com/user/conwy1
Post #855180 9th Sep 2020 2:18pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Post Reply  Back to top
Page 71 of 99 <123 ... 707172 ... 979899>
All times are GMT

Jump to  
<  Previous Topic | Next Topic >
Posting Rules
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum



Site Copyright © 2006-2024 Futuranet Ltd & Martin Lewis
DEFENDER2.NET RSS Feed - All Forums