Home > Off Topic > Joke of the day ... (beat this) |
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Triggerfinger Member Since: 18 Aug 2015 Location: landyrotty Posts: 129 |
Do it right Do it once !!!!!
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24th Nov 2015 12:00am |
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steventheplumber Member Since: 29 Apr 2014 Location: Lincolnshire Posts: 767 |
They will be off Isis Christmas card list.
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24th Nov 2015 1:06pm |
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gilarion Member Since: 05 Dec 2013 Location: Wales Posts: 5109 |
Oliver Hardy: 'Didn't you once tell me that you had an uncle?'
Stan Laurel: 'Sure, I've got an uncle. Why?' Oliver: 'Now we're getting somewhere. Is he living?' Stanley: 'No. He fell through a trap door and broke his neck.' Oliver: 'Was he building a house?' Stanley: 'No, they were hanging him.' For those who like Welsh Mountains and narrow boats have a look at my videos and photos at.. http://www.youtube.com/user/conwy1 Last edited by gilarion on 24th Nov 2015 3:45pm. Edited 1 time in total |
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24th Nov 2015 3:43pm |
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gilarion Member Since: 05 Dec 2013 Location: Wales Posts: 5109 |
From the book of alternative comedy
Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect Thought of the day how do you tell when you're out of invisible ink When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did – in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered 'French Toast during the Renaissance Man walks into a chemist’s and says, "Can I have a bar of soap, please?" The chemist says, "Do you want it scented?" And the man says, "No, I’ll take it with me now I always take my wife morning tea in my pyjamas, but is she grateful? . . . No, she says she'd rather have it in a cup My Dad used to say "always fight fire with fire", which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius How come Miss Universe is only won by people from Earth I like the pope. You know that white thing on his head? If you push that down and twist it, he's full of sweets I remember the last thing my nan said to me before she died. ‘What are you doing here with that hammer? Whoever said nothing is impossible obviously hasn't tried nailing jelly to a tree Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day For those who like Welsh Mountains and narrow boats have a look at my videos and photos at.. http://www.youtube.com/user/conwy1 |
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24th Nov 2015 4:12pm |
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Laurie Member Since: 22 Feb 2008 Location: Sussex, England Posts: 2897 |
On their way to the church to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident
Being good Catholics the young couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter finally showed up, they asked him. St Peter said "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out" and he leaves them sitting at the Gate. After three months, St Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes" he informs the couple " I can get you married in Heaven". "Great!" said the couple "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" "You must be bloody joking" says St. Peter, red-faced with frustration, slamming his clipboard on the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple". "OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted "It took me three months to find a priest up here. Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?" |
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25th Nov 2015 10:00pm |
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gilarion Member Since: 05 Dec 2013 Location: Wales Posts: 5109 |
For those who like Welsh Mountains and narrow boats have a look at my videos and photos at..
http://www.youtube.com/user/conwy1 |
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26th Nov 2015 1:40pm |
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Laurie Member Since: 22 Feb 2008 Location: Sussex, England Posts: 2897 |
Best MoT certificate ever?
Admin note: this post has had its images recovered from a money grabbing photo hosting site and reinstated |
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28th Nov 2015 1:37am |
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bpman Member Since: 21 May 2008 Location: Oslo Posts: 8069 |
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28th Nov 2015 6:59am |
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defender4 Member Since: 22 Jun 2011 Location: South East London Posts: 411 |
^^^
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28th Nov 2015 10:46am |
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Pjembe Member Since: 21 Jul 2015 Location: Newbiggin by the Sea Posts: 143 |
Not saying that this is relevant to anyone here but............
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9th Dec 2015 11:38pm |
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Laurie Member Since: 22 Feb 2008 Location: Sussex, England Posts: 2897 |
Donald Trump says he wants immigrants out of America. Native Americans agree with him and want to know how soon he can off.
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11th Dec 2015 12:43am |
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Venomator Member Since: 25 Aug 2014 Location: Peterborough Posts: 2087 |
Last night my wife sent me a text, saying she was in Casualty. When I got home I watched all 50 minutes of it.......... Never saw her once. She still hasn't come home. I'm starving. Rog... The GREEN One... MY2016 Urban Truck Build Thread - http://www.defender2.net/forum/topic40548....al[/color] |
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13th Dec 2015 4:07pm |
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Pjembe Member Since: 21 Jul 2015 Location: Newbiggin by the Sea Posts: 143 |
Click image to enlarge |
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13th Dec 2015 10:15pm |
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L110CDL Member Since: 31 Oct 2015 Location: Devon Posts: 10733 |
^ ^ ^
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13th Dec 2015 10:31pm |
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