↓ Advertise on Defender2 ↓

Home > Off Topic > Joke of the day ... (beat this)
Post Reply  Down to end
Page 9 of 99 <123 ... 8910 ... 979899>
Print this entire topic · 
party monkey



Member Since: 31 Dec 2010
Location: Oxon.
Posts: 1311
England 2005 Defender 110 Td5 XS CSW Cairns Blue
A recent survey compiled by Buckingham University stated that 90% of blokes regularly knock one out whilst taking a shower. The remaining 10% sing.

Anyone know what the most popular song was ??????

























Nope, me neither Whistle  Jon - 110 td5 [sold]. Currently Defenderless.
Post #157022 20th Jul 2012 5:37pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
spudfan



Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4704
Ireland 
Only one? WIMPS Mr. Green 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai
Post #157027 20th Jul 2012 5:44pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
ZeDefender



Member Since: 15 Sep 2011
Location: Munich
Posts: 4731
Germany 2011 Defender 110 Puma 2.4 SW Baltic Blue
Oh great - just learned yet another euphemism for having a Censored Laughing

I originally read "knocking one out" as a posh way of saying "I fell unconscious" Rolling Eyes Tell someone you love them today because life is short.
But shout it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing...
Post #157035 20th Jul 2012 5:55pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
spudfan



Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4704
Ireland 
Dare I say it, but "That" is one sport we will never see in the Olympics. Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter
Does'nt mean that one must give up practicing, just in case of course. Mr. Green 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai
Post #157045 20th Jul 2012 6:27pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
ZeDefender



Member Since: 15 Sep 2011
Location: Munich
Posts: 4731
Germany 2011 Defender 110 Puma 2.4 SW Baltic Blue
"Throwing the Javelin" Whistle

Or the hammer, depending on one's build... Tell someone you love them today because life is short.
But shout it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing...
Post #157047 20th Jul 2012 6:40pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
spudfan



Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4704
Ireland 
ZeDefender wrote:
"Throwing the Javelin" Whistle

Or the hammer, depending on one's build...

Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "Throwing one's weight around" Rolling with laughter 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai
Post #157056 20th Jul 2012 6:59pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
wslr



Member Since: 18 Jul 2010
Location: Wellington, Somerset
Posts: 581
United Kingdom 
I got sent this one the other day.


Quote:
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Australian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Aussies, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet and, shortly after, a story was published in the New York Times:

"American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have
concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech
communications network 50 years earlier than the Australians".

One week later, the Council in Cornwall reported the following:

"After digging as deep as 30 feet in St Just, Denzil Penberthy a self-taught
archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely Censored all. Denzil has
therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Cornwall had already gone wireless."
Post #157064 20th Jul 2012 7:19pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
bm52



Member Since: 04 Apr 2010
Location: Kent
Posts: 2189
United Kingdom 2014 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 XS CSW Havana
@ wslr - that is brilliant BM52
Post #157098 20th Jul 2012 10:04pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
bpman



Member Since: 21 May 2008
Location: Oslo
Posts: 8069
2008 Defender 110 Puma 2.4 SVX Station Wagon Santorini Black
an absolute classic ... well worth the read...

A young man wished to purchase a present for his sweetheart and after careful consideration, he decided on a pair of gloves. Accompanied by his sweetheart’s sister, he went to a department store and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the items got mixed up. The sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, he sealed the package and sent it to her with this note.

Dearest Darling,
This is a little gift to show my affection for you on our Anniversary. I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when you go out in the evenings. If it had not been for your younger sister, I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easy to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me a pair that she had been wearing for three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had the sales girl try them on and she really looked great. I wish I could put them on you for the first time. No doubt other men’s hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.

When you take them off, blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Be sure to keep them on when you clean them or they might shrink. I hope you will like them and wear them for me on Friday night.

All my love,

P.S. Just think of how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. Also, the latest style is to wear them folded down with the fur showing.


Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter
Post #157158 21st Jul 2012 12:11pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
custom90



Member Since: 21 Jan 2010
Location: South West, England.
Posts: 20444
United Kingdom 
^^^^ Rolling with laughter No Guts, No Glory.
🇬🇧ðŸ´ó §ó ¢ó ¥ó ®ó §ó ¿ðŸ´ó §ó ¢ó ·ó ¬ó ³ó ¿ðŸ´ó §ó ¢ó ³ó £ó ´ó ¿ðŸ‡®ðŸ‡ªðŸ‡ºðŸ‡¸â›½ï¸ðŸ›¢ï¸âš™ï¸ðŸ§°ðŸ’ª
Post #157160 21st Jul 2012 12:24pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
ZeDefender



Member Since: 15 Sep 2011
Location: Munich
Posts: 4731
Germany 2011 Defender 110 Puma 2.4 SW Baltic Blue
Thumbs Up Laughing Tell someone you love them today because life is short.
But shout it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing...
Post #157162 21st Jul 2012 12:44pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
wslr



Member Since: 18 Jul 2010
Location: Wellington, Somerset
Posts: 581
United Kingdom 
This got posted on a LR Specialist forum. Thought it was quite funny.



Admin note: this post has had its images recovered from a money grabbing photo hosting site and reinstated Mr. Green
Post #157168 21st Jul 2012 1:31pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
ZeDefender



Member Since: 15 Sep 2011
Location: Munich
Posts: 4731
Germany 2011 Defender 110 Puma 2.4 SW Baltic Blue
Now that's just too close to the bone Big Cry Tell someone you love them today because life is short.
But shout it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing...
Post #157169 21st Jul 2012 1:44pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
spudfan



Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4704
Ireland 
Back to the doors being an optional extra I see. 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai
Post #157204 21st Jul 2012 4:56pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Killer90
Site Sponsor


Member Since: 09 Oct 2011
Location: Hertfordshire
Posts: 6478
United Kingdom 2016 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 XS DCPU Fuji White
^^ atleast the air con will be better Thumbs Up
Post #157206 21st Jul 2012 5:08pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Send e-mail Reply with quote
Post Reply  Back to top
Page 9 of 99 <123 ... 8910 ... 979899>
All times are GMT

Jump to  
<  Previous Topic | Next Topic >
Posting Rules
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum



Site Copyright © 2006-2024 Futuranet Ltd & Martin Lewis
DEFENDER2.NET RSS Feed - All Forums