 | Home > Off Topic > Joke of the day ... (beat this) |
 
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4703  
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 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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26th Jun 2022 11:54pm |
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| Muddybigdog Member Since: 11 Apr 2014 Location: Suffolk Posts: 1019  
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each new McDonald’s store creates at least 30 jobs—actually 10 cardiologists, 10 dentists, 10 dietitians and nutritionists—obviously as well as the people who work in the store itself." Jumped ship to reliability - Mitsubishi L200
Puma 90 XS - Sold D3 - 2.7 S x2 (both Sold) Freelander 2 HSE - Sold Freelander 1 - Sold Disco 2 - Sold |
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2nd Jul 2022 2:56pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4703
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True story.
Two men at a bar. First man "Where did you park the wife's car tonight?" Second man "Outside your wife's house." 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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29th Jul 2022 9:59pm |
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| Landymatt Member Since: 31 Dec 2018 Location: York Posts: 191
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My wife’s just asked if I had seen the dog bowl. I hadn't even realised it was playing cricket now.
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30th Jul 2022 7:46am |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4703
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A bloke going for a sperm test, puts some frog spawn in to the sample jar.
"Would love to see their faces when they get a look at these boys under the microscope" he says as he seals the sample jar. 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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9th Aug 2022 12:53am |
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| Procta Member Since: 03 Dec 2016 Location: Sunderland Posts: 5183
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A man met a beautiful lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away.
She said, 'But we don't know anything about each other.' He said, 'That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along.' So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice resort. One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 metre board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel. She said, 'That was incredible!' He said, 'I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along.' So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing lengths. After seventy-five lengths she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel and was hardly out of breath. He said, 'That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?' 'No,' she said, 'I was a prostitute in Liverpool but I worked both sides of the Mersey' Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it! |
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21st Aug 2022 1:50am |
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| Procta Member Since: 03 Dec 2016 Location: Sunderland Posts: 5183
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Paddy's in Japan on business. The night before a golf game with his Japanese business partner, he decides to go to a brothel. While on the job, the girl screams, “SUNG WA! SUNG WA!” He thinks this must mean “very good! very good!" so hammers on, all proud! The next day playing golf, the Japanese businessman sinks a long putt. Paddy wanting to impress, yells “SUNG WA! SUNG WA!” the Japanese man turns around and replies, “What do you mean... wrong hole?” Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back
Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it! |
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21st Aug 2022 2:00am |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4703
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Who told you I was in Japan? 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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21st Aug 2022 1:12pm |
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| diesel_jim Member Since: 13 Oct 2008 Location: hiding Posts: 6093 
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Am I being stoopid? I don't get this one at all. 20 or 22.... |
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21st Aug 2022 5:40pm |
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| RoadForce Member Since: 17 Jul 2014 Location: Holland Posts: 336  
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Haha good one! I was expecting something along the lines of "I am a former Olympic champion, 500m freestyle. For men..." Defender 130 HCPU Td5 MY2000 |
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21st Aug 2022 6:27pm |
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| LandRoverAnorak Member Since: 17 Jul 2011 Location: Surrey Posts: 11324
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Ten plus ten is twenty and eleven plus eleven is twenty, too...  Darren
110 USW BUILD THREAD - EXPEDITION TRAILER - 200tdi 90 BUILD THREAD - SANKEY TRAILER - IG@landroveranorak "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought!" - Princess Leia |
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22nd Aug 2022 8:13am |
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| diesel_jim Member Since: 13 Oct 2008 Location: hiding Posts: 6093
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Oh yes... haha I think....
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22nd Aug 2022 9:21am |
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| Muddybigdog Member Since: 11 Apr 2014 Location: Suffolk Posts: 1019
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Click image to enlarge Jumped ship to reliability - Mitsubishi L200 Puma 90 XS - Sold D3 - 2.7 S x2 (both Sold) Freelander 2 HSE - Sold Freelander 1 - Sold Disco 2 - Sold |
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6th Sep 2022 3:03pm |
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| blackwolf Member Since: 03 Nov 2009 Location: South West England Posts: 17443 
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One of those pictures defies any kind of rational explanation!
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6th Sep 2022 6:21pm |
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