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Procta



Member Since: 03 Dec 2016
Location: Sunderland
Posts: 5201
United Kingdom 
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter, dear' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'.
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.
The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car'
'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.
The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years'
'I remember that, too' she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have gotten out today." Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back

Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it!
Post #926141 18th Oct 2021 4:22am
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RoadForce



Member Since: 17 Jul 2014
Location: Holland
Posts: 337
Netherlands 2000 Defender 130 Td5 HCPU Coniston Green
My mum and dad are moving to a smaller house. Whilst helping them pack and going through their stuff in the attick, I came across an old notebook titled "My poetry". In my dad's handwriting, the first page read "I need to take a dump". Oddly enough, all other pages had been ripped out... Defender 130 HCPU Td5 MY2000
Post #926515 20th Oct 2021 3:33pm
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athelstan



Member Since: 06 Aug 2019
Location: Kent
Posts: 55
United Kingdom 2015 Defender 90 Puma 2.2 CSW Montalcino Red
I have a set on order! 2015 90 XS Station Wagon Puma 2.2
2015 Morgan Plus 4
Post #927754 29th Oct 2021 9:08pm
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athelstan



Member Since: 06 Aug 2019
Location: Kent
Posts: 55
United Kingdom 2015 Defender 90 Puma 2.2 CSW Montalcino Red
I have a set on order!

Click image to enlarge 2015 90 XS Station Wagon Puma 2.2
2015 Morgan Plus 4
Post #927755 29th Oct 2021 9:09pm
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Muddybigdog



Member Since: 11 Apr 2014
Location: Suffolk
Posts: 1023
United Kingdom 2007 Defender 90 Puma 2.4 XS CSW Zambezi Silver
So a cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says ‘Audi!’ Jumped ship to reliability - Mitsubishi L200
Puma 90 XS - Sold
D3 - 2.7 S x2 (both Sold)
Freelander 2 HSE - Sold
Freelander 1 - Sold
Disco 2 - Sold
Post #929097 8th Nov 2021 5:20pm
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RoadForce



Member Since: 17 Jul 2014
Location: Holland
Posts: 337
Netherlands 2000 Defender 130 Td5 HCPU Coniston Green
A farmhand is bored with milking the cows each and every morning. The farmer notices the young man's mood and hands him his rifle, saying "Here, take the dog and enjoy a spot of shooting, you'll enjoy it". The farmhand returns some time later, big smile from ear to ear. "Had fun, did ya?", the farmer inquires. "Sure did!" the farmhand replies, "Got any more dogs?". Defender 130 HCPU Td5 MY2000
Post #929903 15th Nov 2021 9:22pm
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Mountain_man



Member Since: 09 Dec 2011
Location: Right side of Offas Dyke
Posts: 756
Wales 
Man walks into a car showroom and says to the salesman "my wife would like to talk to you about the Golf in the showroom window"
Salesman says "we don't have a golf in the showroom window"
Man says "you do now!"


If someone could help me with my condensation problem at home please come round and join me for a cuppa to discuss. The kettle's always on!


If someone could help me find out why my house is always freezing cold in winter, please come round for a chat. My door is always open!


If Benny and Björn from ABBA had been called Steve and Dave, they would have been known as ASDA!


My friend looked at his watch, sighed and said, “My wife will be on the plane now”.
I said, “I didn't know she was going on holiday”.
“She's not,” he said, “She's taking an inch off the kitchen door”.
Post #929931 16th Nov 2021 8:57am
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spudfan



Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4718
Ireland 

Click image to enlarge 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai
Post #930649 21st Nov 2021 11:53pm
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Doc P



Member Since: 03 Apr 2016
Location: Midlands
Posts: 565
United Kingdom 2013 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 XS CSW Firenze Red

Click image to enlarge
Post #931964 1st Dec 2021 8:15am
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Balvaig



Member Since: 19 Feb 2016
Location: Fife
Posts: 732
Scotland 2016 Defender 90 Puma 2.2 Landmark LE Corris Grey
^^^
That you probably need to change your underwear Laughing
Post #931975 1st Dec 2021 9:31am
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spudfan



Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4718
Ireland 
Doc P wrote:

Click image to enlarge

Rolling with laughter 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai
Post #931978 1st Dec 2021 9:35am
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Rashers



Member Since: 21 Jun 2015
Location: Norfolk
Posts: 3522
United Kingdom 2014 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 USW Corris Grey
The light means you need to a start reading and understanding the small print of your insurance documents Rolling with laughter
Post #931985 1st Dec 2021 9:46am
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Muddybigdog



Member Since: 11 Apr 2014
Location: Suffolk
Posts: 1023
United Kingdom 2007 Defender 90 Puma 2.4 XS CSW Zambezi Silver

Click image to enlarge Jumped ship to reliability - Mitsubishi L200
Puma 90 XS - Sold
D3 - 2.7 S x2 (both Sold)
Freelander 2 HSE - Sold
Freelander 1 - Sold
Disco 2 - Sold
Post #932978 9th Dec 2021 2:28pm
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macfrank



Member Since: 05 Nov 2015
Location: somewhere in the north
Posts: 1081
Germany 2015 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 SW Keswick Green
Rolling with laughter
Post #932993 9th Dec 2021 6:38pm
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jomara



Member Since: 26 Oct 2009
Location: Lanarkshire
Posts: 1790
Scotland 2014 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 XS CSW Santorini Black

Click image to enlarge 2014 110 2.2TDCi XS Station wagon
1971 Bowler Tomcat 88 4.2 V8 Auto
2022 110 D250 XS Edition - Gone
2024 110 D250 X-Dynamic HSE
Post #933010 9th Dec 2021 8:07pm
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