 | Home > Off Topic > Joke of the day ... (beat this) |
 
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| Laurie Member Since: 22 Feb 2008 Location: Sussex, England Posts: 2897   
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Lovely.  Just had to borrow it.  |
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29th Oct 2019 1:51am |
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| dorsetsmith Member Since: 30 Oct 2011 Location: South West Posts: 4554 |
smart dog
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29th Oct 2019 7:51am |
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| JamieL Member Since: 20 Sep 2015 Location: Chesterfield Posts: 18 
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An ARP Request goes into McDonald's for a Big MAC...
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29th Oct 2019 11:57am |
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| Procta Member Since: 03 Dec 2016 Location: Sunderland Posts: 5183
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not as funny as the other video but one of those work shop classic school boy errors
https://www.facebook.com/ladypaola.mercede...cxNDU0NDk/ Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it! |
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29th Oct 2019 7:01pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4704 
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Witch One to Witch Two.
"I brought you this for the Hallowe'en cauldron". Witch Two to Witch One "What is it?" Witch One. "It's a six year old child" Witch Two "I don't want it". Witch One "Why not". Witch Two "Those things are full of sugar". 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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2nd Nov 2019 9:34pm |
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| Laurie Member Since: 22 Feb 2008 Location: Sussex, England Posts: 2897
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A truck carrying incontinence pants has shed its load on the M42.
Police are warning of long delays due to rubberknickers. |
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5th Nov 2019 10:50am |
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| ZeDefender Member Since: 15 Sep 2011 Location: Munich Posts: 4731  
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A man goes to his doctor for a checkup. With a solemn face, the doctor tells him he's got a terminal illness.
Shocked, the man tearily asks how long he's got left. The doctor says "5". Puzzled, the man says "5 what - years, months, weeks?" Then the doctor says "4" "3" "2"... Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But shout it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing... |
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9th Nov 2019 8:34pm |
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| Slideywindows Member Since: 09 Sep 2016 Location: North Essex Posts: 1283
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A woman goes to the Doctor for a check-up.
With a solemn face, the Doctor tells her that she has a terminal illness. Sobbing, the woman says how long do I have to live? Doctor says probably only about six months. Almost hysterical, the woman cries what can I do, oh what can I do? The Doctor says, well the only thing I can suggest is that you marry an Accountant. Oh, she says, will that make me live longer? No says the Doctor - but it will seem like it. |
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9th Nov 2019 10:39pm |
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| Grenadier Member Since: 23 Jul 2014 Location: The foot of Mont Blanc... Posts: 5829  
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Click image to enlarge Monsieur Le Grenadier I've not been everywhere, but it's on my list..... 2011 Puma 110DC - Corris Grey |
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2nd Jan 2020 12:19pm |
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| RoadForce Member Since: 17 Jul 2014 Location: Holland Posts: 336  
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Ooh, love that!
 Defender 130 HCPU Td5 MY2000 |
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2nd Jan 2020 6:21pm |
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| gilarion Member Since: 05 Dec 2013 Location: Wales Posts: 5111  
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Click image to enlarge For those who like Welsh Mountains and narrow boats have a look at my videos and photos at.. http://www.youtube.com/user/conwy1 |
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6th Jan 2020 3:20pm |
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| kallito Member Since: 21 Nov 2019 Location: Velturno Posts: 50  
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The husband returns home very late and drunk after a happy pub night.
On the way to the bed he throws up in the kitchen and just manages somehow to get into the bed where he falls asleep with clothes and shoes on. After awaking with a headache that feels like a concrete cap, he realises he’d slept in his fresh PJ’s. He gets up and finds his dirty clothes from the day before washed and folded. He follows the coffee smell and stumbles into the kitchen and is even more astonished finding the breakfast table set with all kinds of delicacies and treats. His wife materialises in the door, runs to him, kisses him on the forehead, hugs him and wishes him a lovely good morning. He thinks WTF???? and asks her whether he’s still dreaming or if this really is happening… She replies yes, he is awake and everything is at its finest. As she’d tried undressing him the night before, he’d pulled her away and shouted out loud: Young lady, let go of me now! I’m a married man! "Don't drink and drive. You might spill your drink." |
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6th Jan 2020 3:52pm |
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| Moneypit Member Since: 27 Feb 2018 Location: North Yorkshire Posts: 271 
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What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
Ones a heavy mammal and the others a little lighter |
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6th Jan 2020 4:42pm |
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| Moneypit Member Since: 27 Feb 2018 Location: North Yorkshire Posts: 271
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Man goes to the doctor, Doctor says how can I help? Man replies I've got an orange penis! Doctor looks shocked and tells him to get it out, in 40 yrs as a GP I've never seen anything like it! Doctor gets up and goes to his shelf of medical guides, there's no record of this condition in any of them, this may be a medical first!
Does anyone else in your family have the same thing? No just me replies the man Do you work with dangerous chemicals or substances? Asks the doctor. I'm unemployed replies the man, what do you do all day enquires the doctor. Watch porn and eat wotsits... |
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6th Jan 2020 4:51pm |
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