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| Venomator Member Since: 25 Aug 2014 Location: Peterborough Posts: 2087  
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There is a medical distinction between “guts” and “balls”.
We've heard colleagues referring to people with “guts”, or with “balls”. Do they, however, know the difference between them? Here’s the official distinction; straight from the British Medical Journal: Volume 323; page 295. GUTS - Is arriving home late, after a night out with the lads, being met by your wife with a broom and having the “guts” to ask: “Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?” BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the lads, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the bum and having the “balls” to say: 'You're next, Chubby.' I trust this clears up any confusion. Medically speaking, there is no difference in outcome; both are fatal. Rog... 
The GREEN One... MY2016 Urban Truck Build Thread - http://www.defender2.net/forum/topic40548....al[/color] |
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1st May 2015 1:19pm |
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| Laurie Member Since: 22 Feb 2008 Location: Sussex, England Posts: 2897  
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Admin note: this post has had its images recovered from a money grabbing photo hosting site and reinstated |
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4th May 2015 9:44am |
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| jomara Member Since: 26 Oct 2009 Location: Lanarkshire Posts: 1790  
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 2014 110 2.2TDCi XS Station wagon
1971 Bowler Tomcat 88 4.2 V8 Auto 2022 110 D250 XS Edition - Gone 2024 110 D250 X-Dynamic HSE |
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4th May 2015 9:58am |
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| Laurie Member Since: 22 Feb 2008 Location: Sussex, England Posts: 2897
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Today, Britain is going to the Polls
..........instead of the Poles going to Britain.....
Admin note: this post has had its images recovered from a money grabbing photo hosting site and reinstated |
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7th May 2015 11:15am |
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| Buz Member Since: 24 Jan 2014 Location: Forest of Dean Posts: 238 
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A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a high cliff about to jump off.
A filthy tramp wandering by stopped and said, "Look, since you'll be dead in a few minutes and it won't matter to you, how about a shag before you go?" She screamed, "NO!  Off, you filthy old !"
He shrugged and turned away, saying "Okay, I'll just go and wait at the bottom then." She didn't jump......... |
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7th May 2015 6:45pm |
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| smb Member Since: 15 Jan 2013 Location: Cheshire Posts: 1232
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As Politics is topical today:
Q: How do you annoy Heather Mills? . . A: Nick Clegg |
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7th May 2015 6:48pm |
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| leeds Member Since: 28 Dec 2009 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 8580
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David Cameron was visiting a primary school in Yorkshire and the class was in the middle of a discussion about words and their meanings.
The teacher asked Mr Cameron if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'. So the the prime minister asked the class if they could think of an example of a tragedy. A little lad stood up and said, 'If my best mate is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.' 'Incorrect,' said Cameron, 'That would merely be an accident.' A little lass stood up and said 'If a school bus carrying thirty children drove over a cliff, killing everybody inside, that would be a tragedy.' 'I'm afraid not', said Cameron, 'That's what we would call a great loss'. The room went silent. No other kid volunteered. Cameron searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?' Finally, a little lad raised his hand from the back of the class and said, 'If a plane carrying you and all the Tory M.P.s was hit by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.' 'Fantastic!' exclaimed Cameron, 'And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?' 'Well,' said the little lad, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be a accident either!
Barbara |
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9th May 2015 2:44pm |
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| jomara Member Since: 26 Oct 2009 Location: Lanarkshire Posts: 1790
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2014 110 2.2TDCi XS Station wagon
1971 Bowler Tomcat 88 4.2 V8 Auto 2022 110 D250 XS Edition - Gone 2024 110 D250 X-Dynamic HSE |
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9th May 2015 4:06pm |
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| steventheplumber Member Since: 29 Apr 2014 Location: Lincolnshire Posts: 767 
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10th May 2015 8:22am |
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| TooTall Member Since: 10 Jul 2012 Location: Fens Posts: 504 
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I saw some absolutely disgusting behaviour on the beach at Hunstanton yesterday.
I saw this man and a woman having an argument in front of loads of kids. The man seemed to be provoking the woman - Suddenly the woman smacked the guy in the head and it all kicked off. There was a massive brawl and someone called the police. This poor copper turned up on his own and, to protect himself, took his baton to the man in an attempt to arrest him but after an enormous fight the guy managed to snatch the baton off him and began assaulting the policeman and his wife at the same time!............ Then out of nowhere a crocodile crept up & stole all the sausages "Ease your worries, Clear-up your woes, Go into your garage & put stuff into rows." |
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22nd May 2015 6:24am |
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| steventheplumber Member Since: 29 Apr 2014 Location: Lincolnshire Posts: 767
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I was hook re Hunstanton, you certainly caught me. So I tried it on my darling wife shocked until she read the punch line.
Top draw TT. Scampy and chips? Talking of sausages! Starring: Andrew Barron Sam Saunders Amy Martell Kelly Waldron and Introducing Eugene Brean Youtube sorry will not link |
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22nd May 2015 6:23pm |
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| Laurie Member Since: 22 Feb 2008 Location: Sussex, England Posts: 2897
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A 12-year old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the window was wound down.
"I'll give you a bag of lollies if you get in the car," said the male driver. "No way, get stuffed", replied the boy. How about a bag of lollies and £10?" asked the driver. "No way", replied the irritated youngster. "What about a bag of lollies and Fifty Pounds?? quizzed the driver, still rolling slowly to keep up with the walking boy. "No, I'm not getting in the car" answered the boy. "OK, I know what you want - I'll give you £100 and a bag of lollies" the driver offered. "NO," screamed the boy. What will it take to get you into the car??, asked the driver, sighing. The boy replied: "Listen Dad, you bought the f-------- Jeep, now you live with it". |
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29th May 2015 11:54am |
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| steve E Member Since: 06 Mar 2011 Location: Tenby Posts: 2073 
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29th May 2015 11:58am |
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| shaggydog Member Since: 12 Aug 2012 Location: Kent Posts: 3347 
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Fantastic Running Restoration Thread http://www.defender2.net/forum/post323197.html#323197
Self confessed mileage hunter  |
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29th May 2015 12:33pm |
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