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Killer90
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Member Since: 09 Oct 2011
Location: Hertfordshire
Posts: 6478

United Kingdom 2016 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 XS DCPU Fuji White
More horse jokes Thumbs Up

Mary had a little lamb.......Or was it a horse Mary! CSK Automotive
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Post #216205 4th Mar 2013 9:09pm
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Killer90
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Member Since: 09 Oct 2011
Location: Hertfordshire
Posts: 6478

United Kingdom 2016 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 XS DCPU Fuji White
And some more Jokes Laughing

Three women had to cross a river. One found a genie in a bottle who granted them one wish each.

The first woman asked for a boat and rowed across the river.

The second asked for super powers to be able to jump across

The third asked to be a man and walked over the bridge

Second Joke:

I bought a Valentine's Day card for everyone at our local Tourette's Society.

It's the thought that c * nts. CSK Automotive
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Post #216211 4th Mar 2013 9:22pm
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custom90



Member Since: 21 Jan 2010
Location: South West, England.
Posts: 20294

United Kingdom 
Killer90 wrote:

I bought a Valentine's Day card for everyone at our local Tourette's Society.

It's the thought that c * nts.

Rolling with laughter Shocked Rolling with laughter ⭐️⭐️God Bless the USA 🇬🇧🇺🇸 ⭐️⭐️
Post #216237 4th Mar 2013 10:23pm
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ttuck3r



Member Since: 03 Feb 2013
Location: Dunning Scotland
Posts: 277

Scotland 1999 Defender 90 Td5 HT Caledonian Blue
Killer90 wrote:
I bought a Valentine's Day card for everyone at our local Tourette's Society.

It's the thought that c * nts.


Brilliant Rolling with laughter Laughing
Post #216243 4th Mar 2013 10:34pm
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spudfan



Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4646

Ireland 
A true tale
A number of years ago my wife and I were in a big shopping centre. We split up and aranged to meet at the Virgin music store at a certain time. When we met up my wife had an interesting story to tell me.
She said she could'nt find the Virgin music shop so she asked one of the security staff where Virgin was. His reply to the Mrs. was
"You'll be hard put to find a "virgin" in this place."
He then gave her directions after a hearty laugh. 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai
Post #217426 9th Mar 2013 1:25pm
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custom90



Member Since: 21 Jan 2010
Location: South West, England.
Posts: 20294

United Kingdom 
Be quick ITV2 now. "The only way is Essex" watching this will be a valuable insight into the life of an Essex boy. Will also give a good understanding of Killer 90's lifestyle and local "crew"

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter ⭐️⭐️God Bless the USA 🇬🇧🇺🇸 ⭐️⭐️
Post #217938 10th Mar 2013 10:30pm
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GUM97



Member Since: 05 Feb 2012
Location: Cheshire
Posts: 3555

United Kingdom 1997 Defender 90 300 Tdi HT Stornoway Grey
Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Bow down Bow down An engine to TDi for!
"Land Rover- Proudly turning drivers into mechanics since 1948"
Post #218009 11th Mar 2013 12:46pm
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spudfan



Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4646

Ireland 
Short version.
A woman met a really nice, thoughtful Australian man. He confessed to her that he'd never been intimate with a woman as he was brought up to respect women and only to indulge in sexual intercourse once married.
This made the man seem even more special in the woman's eyes. So they had a long courtship without indulging in sex.
On the wedding night in the bridal suite she told her new husband not to be nervous or to worry as she would soon introduce him to a whole new world of sexual intimacy. Then she went into the bathroom to change into something "more suitable" as she put it.
On emerging from the bathroom suitable lingeried up she stood and stared in wonder. There was her new husband standing naked in the middle of the room with all the furniture -bed and all - stacked against the wall.
"What's this for?" she asked.
"Well" her Australian husband replied,"As I told you before, I have never had sex with a woman, but if it is anything like having sex with a kangaroo, we are going to need all the space we can get" 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai
Post #219164 14th Mar 2013 10:33pm
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Mountain_man



Member Since: 09 Dec 2011
Location: Right side of Offas Dyke
Posts: 756

Wales 
I bought my wife a vibrator last month and it's already broken. But hey, that's the risk you take when you buy stuff at a car boot sale.
Post #219725 16th Mar 2013 10:42pm
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Killer90
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Member Since: 09 Oct 2011
Location: Hertfordshire
Posts: 6478

United Kingdom 2016 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 XS DCPU Fuji White
Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter CSK Automotive
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Post #219728 16th Mar 2013 10:45pm
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ttuck3r



Member Since: 03 Feb 2013
Location: Dunning Scotland
Posts: 277

Scotland 1999 Defender 90 Td5 HT Caledonian Blue
A Man was sunbathing naked at the beach.

For the sake of Civility, and to keep it from getting sunburnt, he had a hat over his privates.

A Woman walks past and says snickering, if you were a gentlemen you'd lift your hat

He raised an eyebrow and replied, If you weren't so ugly, it would lift itself
Post #219732 16th Mar 2013 11:00pm
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custom90



Member Since: 21 Jan 2010
Location: South West, England.
Posts: 20294

United Kingdom 
ttuck3r wrote:

He raised an eyebrow and replied, If you weren't so ugly, it would lift itself


Rolling with laughter ⭐️⭐️God Bless the USA 🇬🇧🇺🇸 ⭐️⭐️
Post #219734 16th Mar 2013 11:02pm
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GUM97



Member Since: 05 Feb 2012
Location: Cheshire
Posts: 3555

United Kingdom 1997 Defender 90 300 Tdi HT Stornoway Grey
My wife packed my bags today after finding out that I had a one night stand with another woman.

"I want you to go!" she screamed.

I said, "Please can we just talk about it first?"

"Go on, I'm listening." she replied.

I sat down and said, "It was the most amazing experience of my entire life."
Rolling with laughter An engine to TDi for!
"Land Rover- Proudly turning drivers into mechanics since 1948"
Post #219783 17th Mar 2013 9:04am
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custom90



Member Since: 21 Jan 2010
Location: South West, England.
Posts: 20294

United Kingdom 
Pete you don't even have a wife. Whistle

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter ⭐️⭐️God Bless the USA 🇬🇧🇺🇸 ⭐️⭐️
Post #219819 17th Mar 2013 11:15am
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Glynparry25



Member Since: 16 Feb 2009
Location: Miserable Midlands
Posts: 3015

Wales 2009 Defender 110 Puma 2.4 XS DCPU Tonga Green

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Whistle Whistle Whistle Whistle

Glyn Dog :sheep:

Admin note: this post has had its images recovered from a money grabbing photo hosting site and reinstated Mr. Green
Post #219845 17th Mar 2013 12:17pm
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