 | Home > Off Topic > Joke of the day ... (beat this) |
 
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| williamthedog Member Since: 29 Dec 2012 Location: south wales Posts: 3441  
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I like it
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22nd Oct 2016 5:26am |
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| custom90 Member Since: 21 Jan 2010 Location: South West, England. Posts: 20612 
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The ULTIMATE survival technique:
And Defender thrown in too. I do like Ray Mears.  Chillin In The Backwoodsπ¬π§πΊπΈ
β½οΈπ’οΈβοΈπ§°πͺ |
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23rd Oct 2016 4:56pm |
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| Laurie Member Since: 22 Feb 2008 Location: Sussex, England Posts: 2897  
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Went out last night for Halloween dressed as a chicken
Met a girl dressed as an egg. A lifelong question was answered. It was the chicken. |
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26th Oct 2016 12:08pm |
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| Laurie Member Since: 22 Feb 2008 Location: Sussex, England Posts: 2897
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Teach your kids to love Land Rovers.
That way they'll never have enough money for drugs! |
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27th Oct 2016 1:35am |
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| David T Member Since: 01 Sep 2016 Location: North Yorkshire Posts: 190 
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Asked a psychiatrist for help regarding my total addiction to stealing calendars.
He suggested I start by taking it one day at a time. |
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3rd Nov 2016 7:47pm |
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| smb Member Since: 15 Jan 2013 Location: Cheshire Posts: 1232 
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What's the best cheese to hide a horse with?
. . . Mascarpone! |
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4th Nov 2016 9:30am |
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| shaggydog Member Since: 12 Aug 2012 Location: Kent Posts: 3347 
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Today in Heathrow, a man who took British Airways to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case. Running Restoration Thread http://www.defender2.net/forum/post323197.html#323197
Self confessed mileage hunter  |
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4th Nov 2016 1:07pm |
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| Alien Member Since: 18 Jan 2015 Location: Bacchus Marsh Posts: 230 
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One of the young blokes at work was telling me he picked up nice young lass at the pub last week.
Long story short, she stayed at his place the night and trying to impress her he offered her breakfast. He said the conversation went like this... Him "would you like to stay the night?" Her "I don't normally do this but that would be nice" Him "so how would you like your eggs in the morning?" Her "unfertilised would be good" Cheers, Kyle. |
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4th Nov 2016 3:13pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4739 
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1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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4th Nov 2016 5:00pm |
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| David T Member Since: 01 Sep 2016 Location: North Yorkshire Posts: 190
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I saw a specialist the other day, he asked "have you ever heard of Faecal Impaction?".
I said "is that the one with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas?" |
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6th Nov 2016 9:59am |
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| shaggydog Member Since: 12 Aug 2012 Location: Kent Posts: 3347
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Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite?
All he wanted to do was to eat, drink and be Mary. Running Restoration Thread http://www.defender2.net/forum/post323197.html#323197 Self confessed mileage hunter |
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7th Nov 2016 1:11pm |
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| David T Member Since: 01 Sep 2016 Location: North Yorkshire Posts: 190
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or did you hear about the insomniac, dyslexic atheist ?
he used to lay awake at night wondering if there really was a Dog |
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7th Nov 2016 2:08pm |
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| Laurie Member Since: 22 Feb 2008 Location: Sussex, England Posts: 2897
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So I rang Telecom , I said "I want to report nuisance caller ". He said "Oh no, not you again"
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8th Nov 2016 11:19am |
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| custom90 Member Since: 21 Jan 2010 Location: South West, England. Posts: 20612
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Looks like Donald Trump has played Trump card.
He's Trumped them all.. Chillin In The Backwoodsπ¬π§πΊπΈ
β½οΈπ’οΈβοΈπ§°πͺ |
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9th Nov 2016 4:40pm |
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