 | Home > Off Topic > Joke of the day ... (beat this) |
 
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4658  
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 Click image to enlarge 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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23rd Jun 2023 11:43pm |
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| wyvern Member Since: 13 Dec 2009 Location: Cornwall Posts: 2108  
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( Honestly stolen from another site ..
 )
If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have £49.00 today. If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG insurance company one year ago, you would have £33.00 today. If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers five years ago, you would have nothing today. If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Northern Rock three years ago, you would have nothing today But, if you had purchased £1,000 worth of beer one year ago at Tesco's, drunk all the beer, then taken the aluminium cans to the scrap metal dealer, you would have received a £214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. A recent study found that the average Brit walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Brits drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Britons get about 41 miles to the gallon! Makes you proud to be British 🇬🇧 Poppy - TDCI (Puma) 110XS 2.2 - Camper conversion - see the build here - https://www.defender2.net/forum/topic56530.html Elgar -TDCI(Puma) 110XS Dormobile - now sold Devon & Cornwall 4x4 Response - DC126 |
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29th Jun 2023 9:50pm |
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| LandRoverAnorak Member Since: 17 Jul 2011 Location: Surrey Posts: 11324
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I pondered making that calculation and then decided that life is too short. I'm warmed by the fact that you made the effort
 Darren
110 USW BUILD THREAD - EXPEDITION TRAILER - 200tdi 90 BUILD THREAD - SANKEY TRAILER - IG@landroveranorak "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought!" - Princess Leia |
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30th Jun 2023 10:38am |
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| wyvern Member Since: 13 Dec 2009 Location: Cornwall Posts: 2108
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Please note that as stated above - the lists were not from my research - and I truly value the support and peer review by members on here ....
I’m really impressed that Blackwolf did his research, calculations and reply at after 11pm at night and made it all understandable ! - mine would have been a muddle and incomprehensible jumble ! 
However is it still a point that a defender gets lower MPG than the average British male ?  Poppy - TDCI (Puma) 110XS 2.2 - Camper conversion - see the build here - https://www.defender2.net/forum/topic56530.html
Elgar -TDCI(Puma) 110XS Dormobile - now sold Devon & Cornwall 4x4 Response - DC126 |
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30th Jun 2023 11:00am |
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| Dinnu Member Since: 24 Dec 2019 Location: Lija Posts: 3414  
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On the recycling topic... I had some business trips in Indonesia, a country that makes you a millionaire on your first stop at the ATM. Anyway, got a few aluminium coins which are practically 'worthless', the smallest denomination I got was the 50 Rupiah a coin which is equivalent to 0.0026 pound Sterling, and weighs 1.36g. So it also crossed my mind if I could make money
So to collect 1kg you will need 735.3 of these 50 Rupiah coins. So a tonne will need 735,294 of these 50 Rupiah coins, a total value of 36,764,705 Rupiah, or £1928. Too bad, still need to do my regular job. 1988 90 Hard Top, 19J Diesel Turbo, Shire Blue - Restoration ongoing 2012 90 CSW, 2.2TDCI, Santorini Black |
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30th Jun 2023 11:40am |
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| blackwolf Member Since: 03 Nov 2009 Location: South West England Posts: 17372 
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It really isn't the sort of thing you would do before 11 at night! It is also helped if you have just emptied some of those 14g cans, albeit not ones containing £1-per-can beer!
There have been many cases over the years of coins with an intrinsic value in excess of their face value, and generally such coins are short-lived. Even today a gold sovereign only has a circulatory value of £1 if you try to spend it, but the gold is worth around £370. That is of course why you really don't tend to see them being used in the shops, as well as the reason why, if you take your five pound note to the BoE and ask for five sovereigns, you wont get them - unless you also have a mask and a firearm. One of the reasons why the 1p and 2p coins were replaced not so long ago was because the value of the copper content exceeded the face value, so they were subsequently minted from a ferrous alloy and became magnetic. If you have any old, non-magnetic ones still, they are worth more than face value. |
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30th Jun 2023 1:40pm |
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| lohr500 Member Since: 14 Sep 2014 Location: Skipton Posts: 1316 
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Just dug out a magnet Blackwolf and I am off to my mum and dad's house to sift through their sweet jars rammed with loose change
Not sure what the local scrap dealer will have to say when I rock up with a load of coinage to weigh in. I may need to set up a smelter in my shed like the Brinks Mat robbers. Knowing my luck I'll probably burn more propane to heat the smelter than the scrap is worth 
Now there's another calculation you might want to have a stab at!! |
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30th Jun 2023 5:42pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4658
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Short lived ecstasy...
You get a text message saying "I am leaving you, your long suffering wife" Then a few minutes later you get this text message, "Sorry, wrong number." ........................................ Woman. "Fancy going out tonight?" Man "I don't date married women" Woman "But I am your wife" Man "Sorry , no exceptions," 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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5th Jul 2023 8:38pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4658
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Sometimes that restoration job is taking longer than you think....
Click image to enlarge 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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5th Jul 2023 9:51pm |
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| wyvern Member Since: 13 Dec 2009 Location: Cornwall Posts: 2108
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A beautiful woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.
The woman seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," he replied. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes. I need you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip, and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth, and allowing him to suck them gently. "What should I tell him?" the flustered bartender managed to stammer. "Tell him," she whispered, "There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room. Poppy - TDCI (Puma) 110XS 2.2 - Camper conversion - see the build here - https://www.defender2.net/forum/topic56530.html Elgar -TDCI(Puma) 110XS Dormobile - now sold Devon & Cornwall 4x4 Response - DC126 |
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6th Jul 2023 1:49pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4658
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Back to the dealer so they can check which seal is faulty
Click image to enlarge 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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15th Jul 2023 10:21am |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4658
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Click image to enlarge 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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15th Jul 2023 11:12pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4658
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Are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet?
Click image to enlarge 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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19th Jul 2023 2:26pm |
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| Evil Elsie Member Since: 25 Feb 2023 Location: Cumbria Posts: 201 
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I love this one....
I phoned my wife the other day and reluctantly said " I've got something really difficult to tell you. " There was a pause and she said in a worried voice " Go on then, what is it....?? " And I said " Ken Dodds dads dog's dead.!! " 2002 Land Rover 110 Td5 Utility 1990 Suzuki GSXR 1100L 1980 Yamaha RD 350LC 1976 Yamaha RD 400C |
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19th Jul 2023 9:07pm |
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