 | Home > Off Topic > Joke of the day ... (beat this) |
 
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4727  
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 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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16th Oct 2022 12:07pm |
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| 90 Dreamer Member Since: 13 Jul 2019 Location: Oop North Posts: 2177  
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Never a truer word spoke in jest........  |
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16th Oct 2022 12:16pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4727
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Margaret Thatcher "The Lady is not for turning".
Liz Truss "My head is dizzy from this merry-go-round..." 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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16th Oct 2022 12:41pm |
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| Cragster69 Member Since: 15 Jun 2021 Location: Scotland Posts: 204  
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 Click image to enlarge Craig. “Don't believe everything you read on the internet.” ― Abraham Lincoln www.scotgrc.co.uk |
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16th Oct 2022 8:23pm |
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| Arkaig Member Since: 01 Feb 2020 Location: Highland Posts: 41
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Click image to enlarge [/img] |
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17th Oct 2022 8:40pm |
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| RFT Member Since: 13 Nov 2010 Location: Cheshire Posts: 683 
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130 Puma HCPU with an Artica 240LR Demountable Camper |
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17th Oct 2022 9:54pm |
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| Cragster69 Member Since: 15 Jun 2021 Location: Scotland Posts: 204
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Craig.
“Don't believe everything you read on the internet.” ― Abraham Lincoln www.scotgrc.co.uk |
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20th Oct 2022 3:46pm |
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| Cragster69 Member Since: 15 Jun 2021 Location: Scotland Posts: 204
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Craig. “Don't believe everything you read on the internet.” ― Abraham Lincoln www.scotgrc.co.uk |
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20th Oct 2022 3:46pm |
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| Muddybigdog Member Since: 11 Apr 2014 Location: Suffolk Posts: 1026 
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A man sees a sign outside a house - 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden.
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there. "Do you really talk?" he asks the dog. "Yes," the Labrador replies. After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, the man asks, "So, tell me your story." The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I was sold to the SAS. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years". "But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow Airport to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals". "Then I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired." The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog. "Ten quid," the owner says. "£10!!? But your dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?" Scroll Down "Because he's a lying devil, he's never been out of the garden." Jumped ship to reliability - Mitsubishi L200 Puma 90 XS - Sold D3 - 2.7 S x2 (both Sold) Freelander 2 HSE - Sold Freelander 1 - Sold Disco 2 - Sold |
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25th Oct 2022 9:47am |
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| Landymatt Member Since: 31 Dec 2018 Location: York Posts: 191
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Paddy visits his mate Mick who is laid up with a broken leg.
Mick asks him to go upstairs and get his slippers for him. Whilst upstairs Paddy spies Mick's gorgeous 18 year old twin daughters. Paddy says to them, "Hi girls, your fathers sent me up here to shag you both." The girls tell him they don't believe him, Paddy says he will prove it and shouts down to Mick, "Both of them Mick?" Mick shouts back, "Of course, what's the point in just F**king one!" |
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25th Oct 2022 5:15pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4727
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Click image to enlarge 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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26th Oct 2022 11:56pm |
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| RFT Member Since: 13 Nov 2010 Location: Cheshire Posts: 683
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Click image to enlarge 130 Puma HCPU with an Artica 240LR Demountable Camper |
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27th Oct 2022 6:20pm |
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| Procta Member Since: 03 Dec 2016 Location: Sunderland Posts: 5215
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An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?' The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.' Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it! |
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29th Oct 2022 3:00pm |
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| Cragster69 Member Since: 15 Jun 2021 Location: Scotland Posts: 204
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Click image to enlarge Craig. “Don't believe everything you read on the internet.” ― Abraham Lincoln www.scotgrc.co.uk |
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1st Nov 2022 10:14am |
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