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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4661  
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My mother in law passed on last week due to aggressive lymphoma. The day she died I was in attendance with other family members including my youngest daughter who has special needs. My daughter said she wanted to go home for a while so I brought her home. Soon after this the phone rang with the news that my mother in law had died.
I told my daughter and asked if she'd like to go back up and see granny. "No" she said and ran down to her bedroom and returned with a photograph of granny at Christmas surrounded by family. "This is Granny" she said. That was her way of coping with the loss. She would not look at her granny in the coffin but kept her happy memories. On the day of the funeral I helped carry the coffin and lower it into the grave. During the service, every so often I'd feel a hand on my shoulder and I'd look down at my daughter. She'd give me a big smile and a hug. Once again my daughter proves that the "Lord giveth etc" but in my daughter's case she just "giveth and giveth and giveth...." Anyway my mother in law was a classy lady about whom I cannot say a bad word. 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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16th Apr 2018 10:25pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4661
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 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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17th Apr 2018 3:44pm |
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| Procta Member Since: 03 Dec 2016 Location: Sunderland Posts: 5167 
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Very strong daughter you have
Its very, very hard to say good bye. I had to do that with my granddad the day before he passed away. At the wake, my uncle was scoffing down the picked onions, As he is known to be greedy with food. My granddad called him gut buster. Anyway the vinegar had made him cough due to pickle onion squirting down his throat, Which made me laugh, and I looked around to tell me granddad but remembered it was his wake, So I recon it was me granddad getting the last laugh in 
Mind I made sure he had a cracking buffet for his wake, sad thing was all his pals had passed on, but with him been a member of the club we were hosting it at, I said let everyone have the rest of the grub.
coming up to 10 years now that, If I could go back in time again, I would love to tell him some of the laughs I have had, as he used to have right old giggle at the things we used to at work.
But one piece of advice my child hood hero said, " If you remember them, they are never really gone" Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back
Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it! |
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17th Apr 2018 4:14pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4661
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1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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17th Apr 2018 4:41pm |
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| Mr Fox Member Since: 10 Sep 2011 Location: green & pleasant land Posts: 1037 
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A very bittersweet story from the OP with great sentiment.
I’m on the same page as your daughter. Awhile back my paternal Uncle passed suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 59. I was very close to him; he was like a second father to me. My Aunt decided to have an open casket and viewing. My Dad asked me if I’d like to visit with my Uncle. I said I’d go with my Dad to the funeral home, to support him, but would rather not view my Uncle, so would wait outside. We went down and my Dad came out and looked ashen. He has never been a very emotive man but he later said that the decision to view his brother was a mistake. In short, he wished he had just kept the vision he had of him in his mind rather than seeing him in the home because he just “didn’t look right.” This view was shared by most of the family, including my Aunt. I’m glad I went with my gut instinct and can’t help but think that the body is just a vehicle, what makes the person who they were ceases to be present once the body fails us. Anyway OP, thank you for sharing. |
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17th Apr 2018 5:23pm |
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| Procta Member Since: 03 Dec 2016 Location: Sunderland Posts: 5167
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yeah its bad enough remembering how they went, and the seeing how they are after they passed. Best thing really is to remember them as the person they were before all went sour.
 Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back
Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it! |
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17th Apr 2018 7:19pm |
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| Procta Member Since: 03 Dec 2016 Location: Sunderland Posts: 5167
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I remember my granddad telling me a funny story about getting drunk, while he was in the air force. Their quarters hand been finished been built, so when they used to come back from been on the beer, The lads used to open the doors, on the second floor and just pee. As there wasn't a balcony installed yet, Anyway a few people said, that's a fine patch of grass growing there, directly underneath. Anyway the habit installed, he was on leave and my uncle bill got my granddad very drunk, which put my granddad back on air force mode. He woke up the next morning, only to find a massive yellow mark , my grans nice freshly painted wall. He sharp twigged on, what had happened! He was that drunk, he thought he was back in the quarters and did all the actions of opening the doors and peeing out. Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back
Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it! |
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17th Apr 2018 7:27pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4661
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 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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17th Apr 2018 7:32pm |
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