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spudfan

Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4661

How things can change

Sometime last year I was walking in the hills. Finishing up I was changing in the back of the 110 when I heard a tractor stopping. Finished getting changed I went around to the driver's door of the 110. Right enough there was a tractor parked infront of me. The farmer said "Hello" then started chatting about the 110 and other stuff. Finishing up he asked if I had any scrap I wanted rid of. I said no but I'd bear it in mind for the future, so he wrote down his phone number and gave it to me and off he went and I headed home.
Well this week I'd had a tidy up and gathered up some scrap that was lying about and phoned the farmer to see if he still wanted it. Anyway in he came. During our conversation while he was in my yard he said that since I saw him last year his wife had died. She was diagnosed with cancer and passed away six weeks later. He then spent 93 days in hospital with heart trouble. He showed us the marks on his leg where veins were removed to be used in his heart repair. Anyway he took the scrap and went on his way. Just goes to show how much things can change in the space of one year. 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai

23rd Jun 2023 11:26pm

Procta

Member Since: 03 Dec 2016
Location: Sunderland
Posts: 5167

your telling me Spuds, Even in a space of five years things can change rapidly too.
My friend of 30 years, was brought up by his grandparents, due to the loss of his mum and his dad been too sick to care for him. His dad had major back trouble, off the old cast bins. The poor bloke was practically a 90 degree angle with his back. Anyway my mate never really got a full time job, after he left school. Sort of played with the consoles with other friends, while most of us got a job etc, but did get the odd job here and there. Basically from 2009 to 2014, he did about a 1 years worth of work. I asked him are you doing a caring role now? He said yeah, due to assist my grand dad with my dad. Basically getting food in, and his dads meds. The odd few months to a couple of years passed, due to me working daft shifts at the time in the new job. I managed to bump into him, and we had a bit of catch up. He told me that his Dad had ended up with Parkinson's and his nana had been diagnosed with alzheimer's disease. She was diagnosed in 2016, before then i knew something was up with my friend at the time but i couldn't put my finger on it. He was a little off. He was aware of my nana at the time who was fighting it too, me and my friend go back 2 generations funny enough. So i popped around to talk to him about it, on what to expect etc, and to see how his grand dad and dad were getting on. His grand dad was very active at 85 years old still, and his dad was always active as best as he could be, and was always fantastic to chat too, A long with his nana. But seeing how she went since the last time i saw her, was little upsetting for me. Anyway my friend and i had a brew out side, and it was then my friend told me his grand dad is losing weight. He said that he was going to get his grand dad checked out etc. Two months later to the day, i bumped into my friend again, and he told me his granddad has stomach cancer, and they were looking into ways of treating him. His grand dad was like a second father to him, and support. Weeks after my Defender was stolen, my friend sent me a text message to say that his grand dad had passed away sadly. Which was a cracking start of the year for us both. His nana by this time had no sense of time etc, So it was just my friend and his dad. My friend really was in for a rough ride was he not, due to how bad his dad was starting to go. So he was doing care for the two of them sadly. Anyway 2021, my friend served his dad his breakfast and sorted his nana out, at this time she was now bed ridden. He said to his dad, that he was going to go on his morning cycle, so off he went. My friend may have only been away about 45 mins, when he came back to find his dad, on knees and his resting on his nanas bed. He had a died of a massive heart attack, and was dead before he even hit floor. This smashed my friends world to pieces, and was one hell of a shock to the estate too, as his dad was well known and grew up there. At his funeral, i believe the full area practically attended. Then just last year there, his nana sadly passed way in hospital. So he lost off 3 members of family with in 4 years. Me and my friend have some deep conversations, and we both really open up to each other, about things. I have to say this about him, he is one of the strongest lads i have ever met. With what he has gone through, these last few years. Things have not been on his side at all. But on a nicer note, last year. He had gotten in with a nice lady. His dad would have loved her. Also my friend as gone into care work so things are on the up for him

When we both look back at 2012/2013. It only feels like yesterday when they were altogether, and me and my friend having a brew with his nana and dad, while his grand dad was out.

Work life can change like the wind too, the last two years. a number of work mates have moved onto other things. One just went last month who had started practically the same time as me. But that was due to work taking the mick. He had applied for a TL role, but another supervisor had already pushed two lads in for the job, Our supervisors never bothered to back him. Went through the interview spot on, then only to be told you cannot do a 4M, which is what they train you for anyway. So my work mate, got another job a week later and bailed out that week. That's just for starters, we have moved to a new factory too, and things have changed like the wind, its started to go ever much like my old job did. So i am starting to look into moving on, i nearly did last year, but places that assemble cars and diggers, can drop you like a rock, if orders drop. One work mate who left last year, ended up coming back this year. Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back

Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it!

24th Jun 2023 12:25am

the_lincs_landies

Member Since: 29 May 2023
Location: Boston, Lincs
Posts: 230

I know all too well about how things can change in a year, even less in my instance.

December 2022 - New Job
December 2022 - Dad passed away unexpectedly, found in his flat by a support worker
December 20222 - Sister Announces she is pregnant
January 2023 - Grandad has a debilitating fall and spends weeks in hospital, practically paralysed.
Feb 2023 - Grandad discharges himself as he is fed up being in hospital, subsequently has a stroke and ends up back in. For about a week he is disoriented and thinks it’s the 1980s.
April 2023 - get my first defender
April 2023 - sister has to have dog put down (he helped me overcome my fear of dogs so it cut deep)
May 2023 - Grandad deteriorates and I get a call from my cousin that he has passed away.

In loving memory of my dad, grandad, and Obie.

Click image to enlarge

24th Jun 2023 6:09am

RoadForce

Member Since: 17 Jul 2014
Location: Holland
Posts: 334

2000 Defender 130 Td5 HCPU Coniston Green

Sorry to hear all of this. Life can be so unfair and the trouble is, most are oblivious, not appreciating how good their life is until it's too late. Stories like these, however hard to hear, are a good reminder to appreciate a "normal" life and how lucky you are to have one. It's like with children: healthy ones have a whole list of things they want, sick kids only want 1 thing: to get beter... Defender 130 HCPU Td5 MY2000

24th Jun 2023 3:28pm

Procta

Member Since: 03 Dec 2016
Location: Sunderland
Posts: 5167

This is why i cannot see why work places go on stupid, at the end of the day the world will be here when your not, and will still go around with out any trouble.
We need to work to better our selves tbh

Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back

Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it!

1st Jul 2023 2:31am

spudfan

Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4661

People get tied up in the little things. One thing about having a child with special needs is that it puts a lot of other stuff in perspective. I remember our evening routine used to be, come home from work. Do the dinner. Wash the dishes. Lock the door. Phone off the hook. Television off-no distractions. Then it was we would work with our daughter. I suppose it does make you kind of insular but it took our minds off usual everyday annoyances. I remember we bought an electric tooth brush. We used to use this on our daughter's arms and legs so that she would know she had arms and legs then use them. From this to gold at horse riding was a long road.
When anything happened to the Land Rover my wife would say"If it can be fixed, it is "O.K." That is not to say that everything was hunky dory. There were rough times and I have been to the edge and back. You get a different perspective on things. Our next expense will be the roof, the felt and tiles need replacing but it is just one of those things that need done. We have survived worse!!!! 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai

1st Jul 2023 9:18am

Moo

Member Since: 01 Oct 2021
Location: UK
Posts: 1372

You're so right. Life can come at you so quickly and turn things upside down.

May 2nd -7th 2022 - Mother in law died, best mate from school died (54), Father in law diagnosed with oesophageal cancer and I wrecked my shoulder (needs surgery) and got a a bit singed pulling a chap out of a burning car at 3am in the morning on the way back from Bristol Airport with my daughter (17).

May 2022 - I'm diagnosed with skin cancer. Urgent surgery - time will tell.

July 2022 - Friend Mel died from SADS (Sudden Adult Death Syndrome)

August 2022 - nephew tried to take his life.

August 2022 to April 2023 - My wife spends four days a week in Chester caring for her dad. Turns our home life upside down and lead to the closing of her business.

November 2022 - My father in hospital with Hepatic Encephalopathy. Now has rapid onset dementia which we are having to deal with and support him. Word to the wise - cut your drinking. He was a heavy social drinker but it caught up with him. Fit 75 year old rapid decline to a child in less than 6 months.

April 2023 - Father in law dies.

May 2023 - Friend Jenny dies on holiday from sepsis.

May 2023 - Friend diagnosed with leukaemia

May 2023 - Train I'm on is involved in a suicide.

Shoulder still not fixed because life gets in the way and finding time for surgery and recovery is really hard but hopefully August.

Amongst all that, life has to keep going but don't take it for granted, its precious and tenuous. Eiger Grey MY23 D250 SE with bits. Known as Noddy.

1st Jul 2023 10:03am

Procta

Member Since: 03 Dec 2016
Location: Sunderland
Posts: 5167

Yeah your not wrong there Moo,
During the lock down, my dad decided to do some work with the defender, which was a steering box job, anyway we had put the car back together, he decided to heat the hoses up in boiling water, which ended up burning his leg. But he still cracked on with me with the job, i did offer to take him to hospital. Mam came in and told him to get sorted straight away. Anyway a few days later he had to go to the doctors to get his dressings changed. The nurses must have spotted something, wasn't right. So they took his bloods. Anyway a few days later he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. The doctors have had to put him on statons too, So a simple accident opened up a health issue. The sad thing is though he isn't doing much about it now, since he retired. Just watches his stories on youtube, and just say potters about in the house. Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back

Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it!

1st Jul 2023 11:56am

spudfan

Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4661

I did not mean to imply that little things do not matter, they do. One or two by them selves might seem O.K. but given enough of them whey mount up they can have a bad effect on the person involved. As the stories above show, non of us know what is going on in other people's lives and what they are coping with. 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai

1st Jul 2023 12:38pm

Distorted Vision

Member Since: 02 Jul 2023
Location: Cheshire
Posts: 8

Sorry for your losses.

I was shocked and saddened to learn an old friend of mine committed suicide a few days ago. Seemed so happy when I was last saw him.

2nd Jul 2023 6:56pm

blackwolf

Member Since: 03 Nov 2009
Location: South West England
Posts: 17382

2007 Defender 110 Puma 2.4 DCPU Stornoway Grey

Deleted - accidentally posted to the wrong thread. Blasted smartphones!

2nd Jul 2023 7:22pm

Procta

Member Since: 03 Dec 2016
Location: Sunderland
Posts: 5167

Distorted Vision wrote:
Sorry for your losses.

I was shocked and saddened to learn an old friend of mine committed suicide a few days ago. Seemed so happy when I was last saw him.

you never really know how friends and family really are, A lot of people put on a good front. Id rather listen to a friend pour their heart out etc until dooms day, Than to lose them. Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back

Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it!

3rd Jul 2023 3:57pm

Procta

Member Since: 03 Dec 2016
Location: Sunderland
Posts: 5167

blackwolf wrote:
Deleted - accidentally posted to the wrong thread. Blasted smartphones!

Stick with the traditional PC

But then again not many people use PCs like they did 20 years ago Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back

Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it!

3rd Jul 2023 3:58pm

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