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TooTall

Member Since: 10 Jul 2012
Location: Fens
Posts: 504

For Queen & Country...

Saw this online & whilst I've never served myself, I realise a fair few on here have and thought it might provoke a wry smile & some friendly banter

Military Rules:

Royal Marine Rules:
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won’t work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet Â¬ even your friendsâ€¦
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

SBS Rules:
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.

SAS Rules:
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.

Army Rules:
1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd LT’s; it can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.

RAF Rules:
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what’s on Sky.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Government with a "killer" Power Point presentation.
6. Wine & dine ’key’ MPâ€™s, invite MOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.

RN Rules:
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines "Ease your worries, Clear-up your woes,
Go into your garage & put stuff into rows."

14th Oct 2016 7:35am

Roy5695

Member Since: 15 Feb 2014
Location: Cornwall
Posts: 1123

2011 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 XS DCPU Indus Silver

Cant believe there isn't a mention of : smoke as many tabs as possible... this would apply to all the lists.

Also for the RN there should be one after the coffee : Play uckers when not sleeping. 2011 Defender DCPU 2.2 - https://www.defender2.net/forum/topic30623.html

Instagram - @r22oyp

Roy

14th Oct 2016 7:53am

Grenadier

Member Since: 23 Jul 2014
Location: The foot of Mont Blanc...
Posts: 5829

2011 Defender 110 Puma 2.4 DCPU Corris Grey

As far as the Army are concerned, RM rules should read:

1. Have oversized muscles
2. Wear dresses
3. Get naked in bars
4. Repeat

Monsieur Le Grenadier

I've not been everywhere, but it's on my list.....

2011 Puma 110DC - Corris Grey

14th Oct 2016 10:29am

Roy5695

Member Since: 15 Feb 2014
Location: Cornwall
Posts: 1123

Quote:
1. Have oversized muscles
2. Wear dresses
3. Get naked in bars
4. Suck each other off for fun.
5. Repeat

added to your list... 2011 Defender DCPU 2.2 - https://www.defender2.net/forum/topic30623.html

Instagram - @r22oyp

Roy

14th Oct 2016 12:05pm

TooTall

Member Since: 10 Jul 2012
Location: Fens
Posts: 504

Grenadier wrote:
As far as the Army are concerned, RM rules should read:

1. Have oversized muscles
2. Wear dresses
3. Get naked in bars
4. Repeat

As I said I've never served myself but have worked alongside lots who did. Hence when I found myself working with a ex RM (boot neck?) on enquiries in Poole I couldn't understand him pointing out all the bars he'd drunk naked-in. I found it all very strange indeed but I take it this is/was a RM "thing"?
TT "Ease your worries, Clear-up your woes,
Go into your garage & put stuff into rows."

14th Oct 2016 12:55pm

K9F

Member Since: 12 Nov 2009
Location: Bournemouth
Posts: 9610

2008 Defender 90 Puma 2.4 XS CSW Stornoway Grey

TooTall wrote:

RAF Rules:
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what’s on Sky.

I did 32 years in the RAF and that is bang on! I can relate to the rules above. I even got a campaign medal a large portion of the qualifying period needed to get it was spent in a 5 star hotel.

If you go through life with your head in the sand....all people will see is an ar5e!!

Treat every day as if it is your last....one day you will be right!!

14th Oct 2016 1:12pm

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