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willy eckerslike Member Since: 15 Jun 2009 Location: North yorks Posts: 1789 |
The Vit'nary
The Vit'nary Vet: 'That your sheepdog?' Yorkshire Farmer: 'Aye.' Vet: 'Mind if I speak to him?' Yorksire farmer: 'Dog daent talk.' Vet: 'Now dog, how's it garn?' Sheepdog: 'Fine mate.' Yorkshire Farmer: (Look of shock!) Vet: 'Is this Farmer your owner?' (Pointing at the farmer) Sheepdog: 'Aye.' Vet: 'How's he treating you?' Sheepdog: 'decent like. He walks me twice a day, feeds me good grub and takes me to t'mart once a week.' Yorkshire farmer: (Look of total disbelief) Vet: 'Mind if I talk t' hoss?' Yorkshire Farmer: 'Hoss daent talk.' Vet: 'Now hoss, how's it garn?' Hoss: 'Champion mate.' Yorkshire Farmer: (Extreme look of shock!) Vet: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing to the farmer) Hoss: 'Aye.' Vet: 'How's he treating you?' Hoss: 'Not bad mate, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from t' weather.] Yorkshire Farmer: (Look of total amazement) Vet: 'Mind if I talk t' sheep?' Yorkshire Farmer: Oh you daen't want t'talk to them lying Original Member Pie n Pea Club. 110 HCPU Tipper |
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18th Jan 2010 2:05pm |
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K9F Member Since: 12 Nov 2009 Location: Bournemouth Posts: 9610 |
Nowt to do wit vitnary but loosely associated by fermer connection! You may have heard it but funny nevertheless, thought I'd share it...
Eberdeen Fermers Hae Nae Logic! Two Aberdonian farmers, Tam and Rab, are sitting in the Farmers bar drinking beer. Tam turns to Rab and says, 'Ye ken fit? I'm tired o'gan through life athoot an education. I'morn, I think I'll go doon to the squeel and sign up for some nicht classes.' Rab thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day Tam goes down to the school and meets the Lecturer, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Maths, English, History, and Logic.' Logic?' Tam says. 'Fit's at?' The Lecturer says, 'I'll show you. Do you own a Strimmer?''Aye'' Then logically because you own a Strimmer, I think that you have a Garden. Tam replies, 'At's true, I div hae a Gairden. ''I'm not done,' the Lecturer says. 'Because you have a Garden,I think logically that you would have a house. ''Aye, I dee huv a hoose.''And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.''I hiv a femily. ''I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. ''Man! Yer nae wrang!! I div hae a wife!!'' And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual. ''I am that! a heterosexual. That's amazin'!! You were able to find a' that oot, jist 'cos huv a strimmer.' Excited to take the class now, Tam shakes the Lecturers's hand and leaves to meet Rab at the pub. He tells Rab about his classes, how he is signed up for Maths, English, History and Logic. 'Logic?' Rab says, 'Fit's at? 'Tam says, 'I'll show ye. Do you huv a strimmer? ''No.''Well then, yer a poof.' If you go through life with your head in the sand....all people will see is an ar5e!! Treat every day as if it is your last....one day you will be right!! |
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18th Jan 2010 2:40pm |
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Grockle Member Since: 24 Nov 2008 Location: Peak District National Park Posts: 2266 |
is that thee Mist Erriott ? 2.4 90 XS
1968 1/32 scale Britains 109 Pick up. |
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19th Jan 2010 1:33pm |
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