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Moo Member Since: 01 Oct 2021 Location: UK Posts: 1407 |
A different perspective. As you say, you can't choose your families, but sometimes you do strike it lucky.
My parents divorced in 1977 when I was 9. My father ran off with my school teacher which left her husband and my mother behind. Oddly, the two left behind got on well and married and so did the other two. This meant I gained a step father, mother, brother and sister and extra grandparents. It was a bit lumpy in the first few years after the divorce, as everyone found their feet, but it settled down and we've all been very close ever since and the term 'step' has long since gone. I was particularly close to my (step)father, one of life's good men. One thing I found growing up was the stigma of divorce and how people judged us as a 'wife / husband swap' family. A bit of an oddball. However, many of those judging us were hiding behind a facade and almost all have now divorced or separated, most very acrimoniously. Anyway, you can't pick your family but sometimes it picks you. We are very lucky to have a large, close extended family with few issues that came out of a difficult event. Eiger Grey MY23 D250 SE with bits. Known as Noddy. |
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10th Jun 2023 9:45am |
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Procta Member Since: 03 Dec 2016 Location: Sunderland Posts: 5201 |
Moo, over 30 years ago, my parents divorce, they tried to get back together but my dad was back to his old ways again, i suffered the brunt of it sadly. Then the late 90s my mam got in with my step dad, who for the 1st time, in my life gave me and my mam a solid home, and security. My dad was jealous of my step dad giving me and my mam a rock. we had a mega barney, to the point i pulled the plug on him. My step dad though, taught me to drive a car at 16, helped me get works experience, in a career that didnt take off, but it i still learned a stack load from it, and so did he. Anyway my dad called a truce, but i said i don't want no part of you anymore. We parted company, 10 years later he tried again, to get in contact. I never bothered, because what could he offer me? My step dad by this time i seem him as my dad, after the war dust had long settled, and we had done so much together. Working on cars together, he watched me build a computer and saw what i could do with one, Showing him how to work one, and even add bit to one. I showed him stuff before my mother even knew! I showed him £100s of pounds of OS working in his own home, that should be in a office. We even rebuilt a car together, and it was one of the reasons why i got a defender, later on. We have done a stack load together. So to me people don't have to be blood related to be family. Yeah i complain about him been a misery arse and had a punch up. But i wont change him for the world, I would love to rebuild another a car with him again.
The last two years we have been doing DIY projects, which have been great! We had one idea, that sparked off into another, which lead into further projects. We made a belt of a garden set! Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it! |
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11th Jun 2023 1:09am |
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nitram17 Member Since: 08 Jun 2014 Location: newcastle Posts: 2261 |
There is obviously two sides to every story and my first thought would be that everything is not going on well between your wife's son and daughter and you just arrived in the middle of it.Life is very short and your a long time in your box so i personally would ignore the small stuff and focus on the big picture and decide what you want out of the relationship ..so i would try once more and go from there. |
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11th Jun 2023 11:07am |
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