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| Green Machine Member Since: 19 Nov 2010 Location: North Yorkshire Posts: 1226   
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Thanks for your responses everyone and for sharing your own stories. I'll admit that I was apprehensive about my original post, but it is something I'd been thinking about for a while, and I am now glad that I went ahead with the idea!
It's a tough subject and yes, a lot of people feel really uncomfortable around it. That's because we've all been conditioned to feel uncomfortable around it ... because no one talks about it! (You can see the problem). I've recently joined Mind's own online support community forum (peer-to-peer support), which is called Side-by-Side: https://sidebyside.mind.org.uk Again, just letting people know that it exists really. A lot of people who are suffering will find reaching out 'virtually' a lot easier than reaching out in the real world, and this could be a good first step for those who are seeking some help but are unsure where to turn, or are just wanting a sense of community or company. There are many people on there who will share similar experiences, and that in itself can be very reassuring. Thanks again for the responses and sharing your experiences, it all helps. 2005 Td5 | 90 Station Wagon | Tonga Green |
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23rd Feb 2023 5:33pm |
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| andydef90 Member Since: 09 Feb 2015 Location: yorkshire Posts: 617 
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this is hard for me its a first time ever i was raped as a child by a family friend i never told my dad or mam its hold with me for almost fifty years i blame my self for the abuse and that i should have spoken out about it its played on my mind since the first day it happened and still does .
i have had suicidal thoughts and on one occasion attempted to take my own life . thankfully unsuccessful. work stress plays a large part in my life i have now found myself with serious heart condition and found out depending on test i may need a bypass hopefully not the case . if your wondering why I'm saying this now if your in a situation you can get help dont hold on to it by yourself there is organisations like andys man club that can help you . for me this was the late seventies and you did not talk about it even has a child thank goodness this has changed |
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16th Mar 2023 2:12pm |
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| Cragster69 Member Since: 15 Jun 2021 Location: Scotland Posts: 192  
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So sorry to hear that, thank you for being brave and sharing.
That's a significant and very traumatic event, that has obviously had a massive impact on your life. I had a similar but less traumatic experience that I hadn't told anyone about until recently. I found that unbottling a 30 year secret, took away a lot of it's power and the shame and guilt I felt as well. But I also felt that I had now burdened someone else with my trauma. By sharing we dissipate the feelings and it allows to start the healing process. Craig. “Don't believe everything you read on the internet.” ― Abraham Lincoln www.scotgrc.co.uk |
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16th Mar 2023 3:52pm |
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| Screbble Member Since: 26 Apr 2015 Location: Lancashire Posts: 2079 
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Although the sharing of your experiences is potentially distressing for others, and obviously very sad to read, it will ultimately make it easier for others.
Hopefully it will also help raise the profile of these issues and the support mechanisms that are available. You are not on your own. The world can be a terrible place for some at times, but there are also so many good people out there, and lots of support. Talking about it isn’t the solution but it’s definitely part of it. I admire those who have shared their stories and I still think there must be something we can do as a forum to raise the profile of mens mental health - just not sure what. The recent news story about the mile of Minis did get me thinking… |
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16th Mar 2023 7:14pm |
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| Cragster69 Member Since: 15 Jun 2021 Location: Scotland Posts: 192
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We did the John Muir way as a relay during a weekend for charity, with everyone completing a pre arranged section. There was no physical hand over or passing on to the next person. We covered the whole 134 mile route from Helensburgh to Dunbar in about 30 hours. Some walked, some ran, someone kayaked the bit on the Forth and Clyde Canal.
We could possibly do something similar for your LE to JOG idea? Craig. “Don't believe everything you read on the internet.” ― Abraham Lincoln www.scotgrc.co.uk |
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16th Mar 2023 7:28pm |
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| 22900013A Member Since: 23 Dec 2010 Location: Oxfordshire Posts: 3149 
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I hope soon that sharing such stories will not require bravery. Sadly it does as too few people have the empathy or understanding to deal appropriately with such things a *lot* of people out there still believe a man cannot be on the receiving end of sexual abuse, especially where the perpetrator was female. This needs to change. We sadly still have a long way to go but every story shared helps break down that barrier. 2011 110 USW
1973 Series III 1-Ton 1972 Series III 1-Ton Cherrypicker 1969 IIA 1-Ton 1966 IIA 88" |
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16th Mar 2023 8:53pm |
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| Screbble Member Since: 26 Apr 2015 Location: Lancashire Posts: 2079
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Hear hear!
Although there’s a long way to go, there is a gradual societal move toward understanding and acceptance of these terrible issues and that no-one is immune. I also think there’s a long way to go at the basic, less extreme end of the scene - in terms of accepting that everyone’s mental health fluctuates (just the same as their physical health) and that sometimes it’s just okay to be not okay. The more we talk about it, the less likely it will be overlooked or forgotten 👍 And the more we may be able to help each other. |
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17th Mar 2023 7:33am |
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| Cragster69 Member Since: 15 Jun 2021 Location: Scotland Posts: 192
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Thought this might be of interest
https://inthenowhow.com/mens-online-group Craig. “Don't believe everything you read on the internet.” ― Abraham Lincoln www.scotgrc.co.uk |
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12th Oct 2023 8:06am |
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| Screbble Member Since: 26 Apr 2015 Location: Lancashire Posts: 2079
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 Thanks for posting and keeping an important thread alive |
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12th Oct 2023 8:36pm |
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| Moo Member Since: 01 Oct 2021 Location: UK Posts: 1340 
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Too many men just bury their head, usually in alcohol, and try and 'tough' it out.
Men need to grow a set and talk about how they are feeling and ask for help and support if they need it. There is no weakness in doing that, just strength to go against the idiotic norm and get the help and support they might need. Eiger Grey MY23 D250 SE with bits. Known as Noddy. |
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12th Oct 2023 9:13pm |
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| Screbble Member Since: 26 Apr 2015 Location: Lancashire Posts: 2079
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Well said that man
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13th Oct 2023 3:06pm |
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