 | Home > Off Topic > Learnt some new languages recently! |
 
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| d j hutton Member Since: 30 Jul 2009 Location: Dorset Posts: 1044   
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Been a bit busy for a while doing an extension on the wife's business, but managed to learn some new languages, builder speak, plumber speak etc
Here's some phrases I learnt (no offence to any tradesmen on here) Electrician I'll pop in and sort that out. - I won't pop in and sort that out Job done mate - I've connected the wrong lights to the timer just for a laugh Spotlights are now in - spotlights are now in the wrong place I don't charge vat currently - I'll add 20% anyway That won't take me long - think 6 weeks sucker, I'll fit it in around my day job Plumber Job done mate - give me a ring when you find the leaks Leak sorted - there's another one you haven't found and that will ruin your cupboards over the weekend I've sorted that out now - the other tap won't leak until the cheque is cleared Builder I can see where you are going with the design - I've no idea what you are on about I like that idea - I think its crap, what's wrong with my idea? No problem to add those minor additions to the job - that's the next holiday paid for. You've done a nice job over the weekend - you've made a right cock up and it's gonna cost for me to sort it out. That'll be fine when it's painted. - it will look worse when it's painted I'd say that'll be around about £1500 tops - in your dreams mate It's good to have a clear drawing to work from - my five year old could have drawn a better one Is there anything else we can do to help you - we've nothing booked in this afternoon Painter That's a nice strong colour - that's going to look hideous, who the hell chose that! Grey is the new black - it's just grey you idiot. I've got something really nice we can use there - I've got some magnolia left from the last job I'm sure we can sort that out - I'm sure we can't sort that out No one will even notice that - you'll see it every time you open the door I've got some really good primer for that - I've got some expensive primer that'll still peel off by the morning Sign man Can you send me detailed drawings of what you want - I'm not interested in your poxy little sign I'll pop out and have a look see - I won't pop out and have a look see because I'm not interested in your poxy little sign All measured up, I'll get a quote sorted - I'm not interested in your poxy little sign so you'll never hear from me again I've emailed the quote over - I'm not interested in your poxy little sign, so that's why my price is double the ball park price I gave you I'll send Bill over to check out the frame work requirements - I'm not interested in your poxy little sign, but this will enable me to add another £1100 to the quote Not a problem, we can do that - we do all the signs for the cheapskates like you Your electrician hasn't connected the power correctly - I wired the led lights wrong and the power supply is now knackered We do them all that way. - it was mis measured and we are now trying to bodge it without you noticing We can sort out the flashing and seal it all up - we can't sort out the flashing and seal it all up, hence the water leak inside the building If we can't get the same colour vinyl we will paint it - paint is cheaper for us than vinyl We vinyl wrapped these bits - we ran out of the paint and b&q doesn't have any left Job done - hope you don't notice the scrapes in the paint work We always touch up on site - we always touch up on site as we always scratch and chip the sign as we put it up Job done - we didn't think we get away with the first effort Wife You've got on well - it doesn't look like you've done anything while I've been shopping That's looking good - that's looking crap You've got on well. - how the hell long is this going to take I really can't picture it - you'll have to change it all when it's nearing completion I'll trust you on that. - I can't trust you on that I don't know how you work out it all out in your head - why don't you just plan it like a normal person? I bet you're pleased its nearly finished - get a bloody move on and finish it Staff Its looking good - how much longer is it going to take? It's looking good - how come none of our ideas got used? It's looking good - it's looking good (bless em) So it's finished at last and thank god for the patience and expertise of the guys that did the proper work for us. Time to get back to some other stuff now. Not long till Christmas and a bit of holiday 
DJ 1989 200tdi 90 csw 2011 110 usw Orkney grey Buy British 🇬🇧 Defender Clothing Designs available at http://www.rangesports.com/acatalog/Defender-Stuff.html |
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26th Nov 2014 12:17am |
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| landy andy Member Since: 15 Feb 2009 Location: Ware, Herts Posts: 5706 
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As a tradesman I'll keep quiet, and not add a customer section to the list.
Andy |
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26th Nov 2014 8:21am |
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| d j hutton Member Since: 30 Jul 2009 Location: Dorset Posts: 1044
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I reckon that would be an even longer list, especially with me as a customer. I'm surprised we got through it without me getting a black eye 
My builder mates favourite is "the customer is always right" - meaning "the customer is always wrong, but as they are hopefully paying the bill we have to make them think they are" Dj 1989 200tdi 90 csw 2011 110 usw Orkney grey Buy British 🇬🇧 Defender Clothing Designs available at http://www.rangesports.com/acatalog/Defender-Stuff.html |
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26th Nov 2014 9:07am |
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| ZeDefender Member Since: 15 Sep 2011 Location: Munich Posts: 4731  
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Any chance of a pic of the finished product?
 Tell someone you love them today because life is short.
But shout it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing... |
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26th Nov 2014 9:26am |
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| d j hutton Member Since: 30 Jul 2009 Location: Dorset Posts: 1044
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No problem
As it was Click image to enlarge The new part is the right hand side, so completely new shop front, large hole in wall etc Click image to enlarge Looking through the hole into the new part Click image to enlarge Beauty Room Click image to enlarge New customer loo Click image to enlarge
Couple of the girls at opening DJ 1989 200tdi 90 csw 2011 110 usw Orkney grey Buy British 🇬🇧 Defender Clothing Designs available at http://www.rangesports.com/acatalog/Defender-Stuff.html |
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26th Nov 2014 10:15am |
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| ZeDefender Member Since: 15 Sep 2011 Location: Munich Posts: 4731
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Looks absolutely brilliant
I hope the security is up to scratch - wasn't it around Christmas a few years ago? (or perhaps my mind is going...) Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But shout it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing... |
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26th Nov 2014 11:36am |
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| d j hutton Member Since: 30 Jul 2009 Location: Dorset Posts: 1044
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Cheers and yes it was around Christmas 2012 (good memory!) we had a little 'visit' - funnily enough I recently had a call from the offenders rehabilitation (or something like that) asking if I'd be happy to meet up with the offender (who got jail for re-offending
 ) for a chat about how it affected us! didn't take them up on that offer. I guess its parole time  .
Yes security is now beefed up so hopefully won't happen again, if it does the police will know about it quickly I hope. DJ 1989 200tdi 90 csw 2011 110 usw Orkney grey Buy British 🇬🇧 Defender Clothing Designs available at http://www.rangesports.com/acatalog/Defender-Stuff.html |
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26th Nov 2014 11:43am |
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| d j hutton Member Since: 30 Jul 2009 Location: Dorset Posts: 1044
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Not forgetting I've seen your hairdo DJ - I'll ask, but unless its after several rounds of shots at the Christmas do, I think we all know the answer already
1989 200tdi 90 csw
2011 110 usw Orkney grey Buy British 🇬🇧 Defender Clothing Designs available at http://www.rangesports.com/acatalog/Defender-Stuff.html |
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26th Nov 2014 11:45am |
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| gilarion Member Since: 05 Dec 2013 Location: Wales Posts: 5110  
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I employed two plasterers recently to render and plaster a couple of walls, they had both been recommended to me by a neighbour down the lane. As the plasterers had to work in the cottage while my wife and I were out there had to be an element of trust.
On the second day I arrived home early and when I entered the cottage there was the unmistakable smell of ‘skunk weed’ and looking at the two plasterers it was obvious they were under the influence of the drug. I blew my top at them, I had also before entering the cottage let my two border collies out of the outbuilding and because I was raising my voice they were barking at the two guys as well, the two guys look terrified. I was in two minds to throw them out of the cottage but they were so apologetic I let them complete the job, which to be fair was to high standard. However I do not think it right for anybody to smoke drugs in someone else’s home especially people you have employed to do a job. |
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26th Nov 2014 12:31pm |
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| ZeDefender Member Since: 15 Sep 2011 Location: Munich Posts: 4731
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In the words of the immortal Pythons "you were lucky"
A few years ago, a new teacher here (a very pretty young woman from New Zealand) got the keys to her rented flat. She had agreed to paint it herself to get money off the deposit and was recommended a painter. He turned up one Saturday morning and seemed very professional (she thinks he was from Croatia) so she gave him the keys to work "black" (tax-free) over the weekend whilst she was away. However, her trip was cancelled and she went back to the flat on Saturday night... only to find the painter drinking and smoking and lying on her sofa watching telly naked... well, except for wearing her underwear. It's a credit to her nationality that she simply gave him his marching orders and found it incredibly funny. Needless to say he wasn't asked to finish the job. It's a scary world out there
*Edit* Wife just pointed out he wasn't wearing her underwear but just had it scattered around him - still creepy though... Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But shout it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing... |
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26th Nov 2014 4:04pm |
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| martinfiattech Member Since: 13 Nov 2013 Location: leicester Posts: 422
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Yep same happened to us, ( rented flat at the time) let the plasterer in showed him the bit of ceiling that needed doing.
Went down stairs to make a cuppa, back up stairs and he`s routing thru the girl friends underware draw. Needless to say he was shown the door very quickly. Excuse the spelling I`am better with spanners and wires. |
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29th Nov 2014 7:31pm |
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