 | Home > Off Topic > Colonoscopy advice please? |
 
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| ZeDefender Member Since: 15 Sep 2011 Location: Munich Posts: 4731   
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Hi all
Sorry for the slightly yucky nature of this post but I have to have one of these next week and the advice you guys gave me for my hernia op was invaluable 
Although I've seen a few of these when I was training, the patients were always knocked out. I don't do well with anaesthetic so I have the option of staying awake. This makes me a bit nervous, to say the least... Has anyone had a colonoscopy whilst awake or know anyone who has? Please PM me if an open forum is a bit too public 
Cheers Matt Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But shout it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing... |
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20th Jun 2014 9:59am |
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| K9F Member Since: 12 Nov 2009 Location: Bournemouth Posts: 9610  
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Not too public for me. Will share openly.....
I am talking from experience. Polyps 5 years ago though! 
I insisted on remaining awake as the consultant was an Army Captain at Selly Oak Hospital Military Wing. I had heard rumours about the Army so wanted to make sure it was indeed the camera that was heading up my crimper and nothing else. 
You'll end up with a posterior that feels somewhere between a large kit bag and a Walkers crisp packet and despite the assurances and demonstration the camera is small it feels like it's the size of a Zeppelin. Better not to have a general as recovery time is longer. I hate hospitals and despite being the last in, I was first out as the others had general anaesthetics......dodgy walk and all. My partner came with me and I wish she hadn't as I'm still getting stick five years later. Go to your local tattooist and get a no entry sign and 'exit only' emblazoned either side of your starfish they may get the message. You will break out in a cold sweat but feel boiling and maybe a little nausious as the camera is heading towards where it needs to go. Resist the urge to hit whoever is on the controls. They may offer you a muscle relaxant......TAKE IT! I didn't and they had a bit of a battle on their hands as my muscles resisted with keen determination that nothing was coming in. For a couple of days you may be a little sore as your body knows that something has gone on but can't quite figure out what! If you need a poo in the ensuing couple of days don't try and retain it as 'resistance is futile.' Good luck Matt, with technical developments the cameras hopefully have got smaller in the last 5 or so years but no matter how tiny you will resist. 
No need for any feedback after thanks..... If you go through life with your head in the sand....all people will see is an ar5e!!
Treat every day as if it is your last....one day you will be right!! Last edited by K9F on 20th Jun 2014 11:47am. Edited 1 time in total |
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20th Jun 2014 11:14am |
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| wyvern Member Since: 13 Dec 2009 Location: Cornwall Posts: 2108 
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Hi Matt
you have PM Poppy - TDCI (Puma) 110XS 2.2 - Camper conversion - see the build here - https://www.defender2.net/forum/topic56530.html
Elgar -TDCI(Puma) 110XS Dormobile - now sold Devon & Cornwall 4x4 Response - DC126  |
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20th Jun 2014 11:45am |
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| K9F Member Since: 12 Nov 2009 Location: Bournemouth Posts: 9610
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View count is rocketing. Wonder why? If you go through life with your head in the sand....all people will see is an ar5e!!
Treat every day as if it is your last....one day you will be right!! |
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20th Jun 2014 11:46am |
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| jimbob7 Member Since: 06 Jul 2013 Location: uk Posts: 2055 |
Slightly o/t,I just spent 10 minutes (and lubin up wi baby oil
) trying to "unburden myself" what felt like the leg off a snooker table,(took 3 flushes and a load of washin soda to get rid of it).Good luck fella .
Looksy, a leg off a snooker table. Click image to enlarge Pov.spec,ftw. 2006, 110,TD5. |
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20th Jun 2014 12:02pm |
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| ZeDefender Member Since: 15 Sep 2011 Location: Munich Posts: 4731
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Thanks all - didn't imagine so many would have had it done
I'll resist the temptation to give feedback after it's over but you can always PM me if you REALLY want to know
Tell someone you love them today because life is short.
But shout it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing... |
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20th Jun 2014 12:33pm |
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| rustyboxx Member Since: 08 Oct 2012 Location: Poole Posts: 548 
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I had a Sigmoidoscopy done a couple of years ago and shared the same reservations as Mal.
Three things of concern were the diarrhoea resulting from the medication I had to take beforehand, the camera heading up my hitherto unexplored region of my body and what seemed to be copious amounts of compressed gas being shot up into my underinflated bowel. I didn't have an anaesthetic, there was some discomfort with my internal organs being blown up like a balloon. However, apart from that resigning to the fact that you're going to be invaded probably made the whole procedure a bit easier. It was also interesting seeing my insides on the TV monitor! My most treasured memory was after the event when leaving the hospital with my partner. I let out the most satisfying and longest fart I have ever done in my life much to the amusement of both her and myself. A conservative estimate at a slow ambling John Wayne-esque walking pace is that I reckon that fart lasted a good 10 metres. You'll be fine Matt, the thought of it is worse than the procedure. 2015 90 XS CSW TDCi - Beautiful
2007 110 XS DCPU - An itch that needed scratching 2005 90 Td5 XS CSW - Utterly brilliant 2001 Discovery 2 ES Auto - A phase I went through 1996 90 Tdi CSW - Uber reliable 1989 90 2.5 Petrol Hardtop - My first proper Landy 1985 Range Rover Vogue V8 -Troublesome |
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20th Jun 2014 12:34pm |
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| ZeDefender Member Since: 15 Sep 2011 Location: Munich Posts: 4731
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Getting more confidence by the minute
Tell someone you love them today because life is short.
But shout it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing... |
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20th Jun 2014 12:38pm |
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| jimbob7 Member Since: 06 Jul 2013 Location: uk Posts: 2055 |
Yeah, pics or it didn't happen ! Pov.spec,ftw. 2006, 110,TD5. |
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20th Jun 2014 12:43pm |
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| ZeDefender Member Since: 15 Sep 2011 Location: Munich Posts: 4731
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I believe the sound effects will be more appropriate
Tell someone you love them today because life is short.
But shout it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing... |
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20th Jun 2014 12:48pm |
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| K9F Member Since: 12 Nov 2009 Location: Bournemouth Posts: 9610
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Try not to squelch too much on your way out!
Never mind about swivel oil and grease on the other thread. Clear your local pharmacist.........get a set of bellows and start pumping.
You'll be fine Matt and as memory fades it'll be the subject of much amusement and a tale to tell your grandchildren. If you go through life with your head in the sand....all people will see is an ar5e!!
Treat every day as if it is your last....one day you will be right!! |
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20th Jun 2014 12:52pm |
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| redhandluke Member Since: 02 Jun 2013 Location: Northern Ireland Posts: 243 
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I had it done some years ago. After physcing myself up and telling myself not to be embarrased, I walked in wearing my surgical gown only to discover that the young lady administering the torture happened to be an old girlfriend
Luckily we had previously parted on good terms and I'm sure my discomfort didn't give her any pleasure at all
On a lighter vein I've heard that there are two new operations for lesbians-Addacoctomy and Strapadictomy-Think about it. |
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20th Jun 2014 3:30pm |
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| Buz Member Since: 24 Jan 2014 Location: Forest of Dean Posts: 238 
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Have you had a read of Bob The Anal Fissure
 |
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20th Jun 2014 4:03pm |
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| IanW Member Since: 12 Jun 2011 Location: Gloucestershire Posts: 172 
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Hi Matt
Pm sent. Ian One wife - livid |
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20th Jun 2014 6:28pm |
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