 | Home > Off Topic > Good jokes for Christmas |
 
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| GUM97 Member Since: 05 Feb 2012 Location: Cheshire Posts: 3555   
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Who is Santa's favorite singer?
- Elf-is Presley What do you call a man with no body and no nose? - Nobody knows!  An engine to TDi for!
"Land Rover- Proudly turning drivers into mechanics since 1948"  |
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23rd Dec 2013 7:40pm |
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| dondiddy Member Since: 13 Nov 2012 Location: Hamilton Posts: 224  
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He did say good jokes!
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23rd Dec 2013 7:44pm |
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| GUM97 Member Since: 05 Feb 2012 Location: Cheshire Posts: 3555
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They don't get much better than that
An engine to TDi for!
"Land Rover- Proudly turning drivers into mechanics since 1948" |
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23rd Dec 2013 7:48pm |
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| lukev01 Member Since: 24 Mar 2012 Location: Bedfordshire Posts: 412  
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What did one snowman say to the other?
Can you smell carrots? I'll get my coat.....but it is clean! 1970 Series 2A 88" |
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23rd Dec 2013 7:50pm |
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| Cold_n_Wet Member Since: 15 Oct 2012 Location: Bergen Posts: 244 
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What do you call rudolph without eyes ?
No I dear |
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23rd Dec 2013 7:50pm |
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| party monkey Member Since: 31 Dec 2010 Location: Oxon. Posts: 1311 
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Not specifically Christmassy but you can get this in when people are chatting about the bird/meat of choice etc...
'Yes..... the butcher did us a great deal on the turkey this year. He also offered me eight legs of venison for five hundred pounds. I declined as I wasn't sure. What do you lot think... Is that too dear ?' Jon - 110 td5 [sold]. Currently Defenderless. |
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23rd Dec 2013 8:08pm |
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| DAZ110 Member Since: 06 Dec 2007 Location: East Sussex Posts: 2036 
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Yes!...I like that one
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23rd Dec 2013 8:13pm |
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| TheWarden Member Since: 25 Feb 2013 Location: Southampton Posts: 179 
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What do you call Rudolph with no eyes and no legs?
Still no eye dear.... 2013 Aintree Green 110 Station Wagon SX |
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23rd Dec 2013 8:17pm |
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| Lou Sparts Member Since: 15 Apr 2012 Location: Kent Posts: 1501 
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One from a christmas cracker a few years ago....
Two goldfish in a tank One goldfish says to the other you got any idea how to drive this thing ! 2005 Td5 90 XS Steve |
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23rd Dec 2013 8:21pm |
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| Leenorthants Member Since: 08 Sep 2013 Location: Silverstone(ish) Posts: 856
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What's the difference between a snow lady and a snow man?
Snow balls! |
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23rd Dec 2013 8:33pm |
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| DAZ110 Member Since: 06 Dec 2007 Location: East Sussex Posts: 2036
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What's Father Christmases wife called?
Mary Christmas |
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23rd Dec 2013 8:40pm |
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| Laurie Member Since: 22 Feb 2008 Location: Sussex, England Posts: 2897 
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Elf-n-safety
One year Father Christmas is forced to have an official from the Civil Aviation Authority check his sleigh to make sure it’s airworthy. The official checks out the sleigh on the ground then sits beside Father Christmas for a test flight. Suddenly Father Christmas notices the official has a revolver in his pocket. ‘What’s that for?’ he asks. ‘You’re not a hijacker, or expecting trouble are you?’ ‘No,’ replies the official. ‘But we have to see how you handle this craft when you lose an engine on take-off.’ |
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23rd Dec 2013 9:02pm |
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| Josh K Member Since: 01 Nov 2013 Location: Herefordshire Posts: 266 
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What do you call a blind deer? No idea
What do you call a blind deer with no legs? Still no idea 2007 (57) Defender 90 (Sold) Looking for another to replace it. The road less travelled.... is a muddy one! |
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23rd Dec 2013 9:03pm |
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| Alex1976 Member Since: 23 Jan 2013 Location: Buckingham Posts: 596
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What do you call a reindeer with no eyes, no legs and no d***?
Still no F****** idea. |
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23rd Dec 2013 9:26pm |
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